Adore this.

Pounding out the hit last night at the East Brunswick Hotel.

Our white Ibis population (disrespectfully known as bin chickens) has really blossomed at Albert Park Lake and their manners and habits are generally much better than their northern neighbours. But this one found his way into our back lane and seemed kind of lost.

Funny.

I found these instructions in my hotel room, on the inside of the bathroom door. So odd. Perhaps it’s a refresher course?

Wisdom.

Time to cut back on the kibble.

The clunk noise got me. Then the second one after he didn’t let go got me again.

Livin’ on the edge.

Genuine question: Is there a product that removes tufts of grass growing through our river stone garden but doesn’t hurt the plants also growing there?

So clever.

Victorian pothole update.

My Grandfather was highly decorated in World War Two. In fact, the army believe it was the tinsel on his helmet that got him shot.

The Victorian police commissioner, Mike Bush, speaks way too slowly. There, I’ve said it. Quickly.

Enjoy your breakfast. The trust in those eyes. And apparently macaques don’t like pineapple.

Deluded old twat.

I think they should tell you when your blueberry muffin is possessed.

I can’t believe he managed to do that.

97% of scientists believe climate change is man-made and causes rising levels of oceans. The other 3% believe Billy Ocean is an ocean.

What kind of cape-wearing, lycra-clad big-arsed birds are flying around Metropolis that when people see Superman up in the sky, everyone’s first guess is “Is it a bird?”