It’s really easy to make sure your mcdonalds order is made fresh. the trick? simply brandish a handgun.
my mom was acting kinda weird and confused last week so my sister told her to get checked for a UTI, and she was right. Wild. Now we have to have an uncomfortable conversation about the types of dick mom has been letting pound her filthy old pussy….
it’s not illegal to tell the president to suck your dick
.@POTUS absolutely roasts Mongoloid Moron @AndrewFeinberg for his disgraceful behavior:
"What's wrong with you? Are you a sick person? I actually think there's something wrong with you."
after my wife is asleep i plan to sneak off to the basement where i will stroke my little penis and then eat the watery substance that comes out of it @grok
our local high school had homecoming this week and it looks like the mascot is in a tremendous amount of pain
i can my my silverado flip by simply drinking seventeen IPAs and driving on the freeway for a fraction of the price of this piece of shit
paul walker’s death just proved why they didn’t name him “paul driver.” if he had only lived up to his name, he might still be with us today……….
i despise trump and everything he stands for, but goddamn i’d be lying if i said i wouldn’t love to get a peek at his sweaty lil’ pecker 🤤
my daughter has a friend over so i stuck my head in her room and said “alexa, play ‘down with the sickness’ by disturbed” and left













