those pool jets feel so good lol

on the internet and your heart
Joined April 2010
It’s really easy to make sure your mcdonalds order is made fresh. the trick? simply brandish a handgun.
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my mom was acting kinda weird and confused last week so my sister told her to get checked for a UTI, and she was right. Wild. Now we have to have an uncomfortable conversation about the types of dick mom has been letting pound her filthy old pussy….
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would would would would would would would would would would would would would
「ぽっちゃり」と「デブ」の境目ってどこだと思う?
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it’s not illegal to tell the president to suck your dick
.@POTUS absolutely roasts Mongoloid Moron @AndrewFeinberg for his disgraceful behavior: "What's wrong with you? Are you a sick person? I actually think there's something wrong with you."
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Crazy to see Boston’s surplus of 3-point shooting contrasted with Detroit’s lack of 3-point shooting. Celtics also have so many more sources of shot creation. Just on a different tier from the Pistons.
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after my wife is asleep i plan to sneak off to the basement where i will stroke my little penis and then eat the watery substance that comes out of it @grok
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our local high school had homecoming this week and it looks like the mascot is in a tremendous amount of pain
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he’s got the juice
This is Tommy. Tommy had a question about my allegiances. Listen to the end to hear about his.
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i can my my silverado flip by simply drinking seventeen IPAs and driving on the freeway for a fraction of the price of this piece of shit
The new Tesla Roadster just did a FLIP from a complete standstill! 🤯
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i can “my my” oh great oh geez what a buffoon i am!!!!
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me and the boys are running squads on chaturbate later if anyone wants to get some dubs
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paul walker’s death just proved why they didn’t name him “paul driver.” if he had only lived up to his name, he might still be with us today……….
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i despise trump and everything he stands for, but goddamn i’d be lying if i said i wouldn’t love to get a peek at his sweaty lil’ pecker 🤤
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all my tweets are sent from here
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my daughter has a friend over so i stuck my head in her room and said “alexa, play ‘down with the sickness’ by disturbed” and left
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this is the equivalent of talking to my freshman year of high school girlfriend on a landline while my dad shouted ROOOOOXXXXXXANEEEEE, you don’t have to put on the red light.” new generation, same crap.
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why does peyton manning do commercials for a work uniform company? if i was insanely rich and famous, i’d spend those important hours begging gorgeous women to let me smell their feet for $$$. hell, i’m not even rich or famous, but if you want to let me smell your feet, DM me…
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