Matthew Spind

I’ve never shared this before. A day or two after October 7th, early in the morning, the country was in shock. Even before the funeral of Mapal Adam z”l, who was murdered at the Nova festival, I went to the home of her sister, Maayan. Her mother, her brother Yarden, Maayan, and Maayan’s partner Yuval were there. We sat in the small yard and talked. Then Roee, Mapal’s boyfriend, arrived and sat down to tell the family for the first time what had actually happened and how Mapal had died. I stood up to leave such an intimate moment, but the family said to me, “Stay.” And then, for about an hour, Roee described in a trembling voice, detail by detail, How he and Mapal hid under a car, and Hili Solomon, Mapal’s best friend, under another car nearby, all surrounded by dozens, perhaps hundreds, of terrorists. How they stayed silent, pretending to be dead. How the vile terrorists came and shot them “confirmation shots” at point-blank range. How the blood flowed from their bodies, and Mapal’s life drained out of her there, as they lay pressed together. How the monsters came back a second time and shot again, as gasoline from the car leaked and mixed with the blood. How Roee smeared himself, and I think also Mapal, with blood so they would appear dead. How for endless hours no one came. I felt as though I was hearing the testimony of a Holocaust survivor, minutes after being liberated from Auschwitz. Because that’s what it was. A small Holocaust. No state. No army. Jews hiding for hours from murderous beasts. We all felt that Roee carried crushing guilt for not being able to save the love of his life, Mapal, nor her friend Hili. Of course, Roee could not have done anything more than he did. He bore no blame whatsoever. Mapal’s family told him that clearly and embraced him with immense love and compassion. Since then, as I understand, Roee devoted himself to helping others however he could. But in the early hours of this morning, two years later, Roee’s strength finally gave out, and this man, with his wounded soul, took his own life. Another soul murdered on that cursed day. ** In the coming days, hopefully already tomorrow, we will celebrate the return of the hostages. But we must not forget the murdered, the fallen soldiers and their families, nor the survivors who struggle every day with the horrors in their minds. Nor the thousands wounded in body and spirit. They live among us, and it is our duty to care for them. This is a matter of national priority. It is urgent! The day after we form the government, an authority will be established to care for the victims and their families. a moral, national, governmental obligation. May the soul of Roee be bound in the bond of life, alongside the love of his life, Mapal.