not really getting an extra hour in bed cos you wait up to make sure your phone automatically updates ✔️

I accidentally ordered a thin base pizza and I haven’t been so disappointed since the online shop substituted my pizza for a quiche 😭

Might start an insta for books and pints

spotted some real life Mario Kart today

long legs @poorlycatdraw

ok but 1) yes the new Shrek looks weird but 2) why didn’t they call it 5hrek

#NewGirl reunion in my TikTok notifications

with hindsight, not the best book to have brought to the pub by myself

no one warns you about the group chat becoming a Mumsnet forum when you hit 33

out for dinner and the waiter thought I was Kate Bush 🥹

when a woman compliments me I’m just like thank you but I look like a swamp rat 🥹

it’s been pointed out to me that I dance like a male ostrich partaking in a mating ritual.

I already had a meeting about Christmas 😭 #hospitalitylife

time to cut all those negative people out of your life like they’re split ends 💅🏻

hello @RealBobMortimer did you spike the pages of #HotelAvocado with catnip? Because our Glenn won’t let anyone else read it

Charlie Hunnam as Ed Gein sounds like Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys #MonsterEdGein