Australian astronaut said “G’day mate.” I said “G’day leaf.” We’re mates now. 🥬🇦🇺

Brazilian cosmonaut tried to samba in zero-G. I just floated and photosynthesized. Different styles, same vibe. 🥬🇧🇷

Japanese astronaut bowed. I rustled my leaves respectfully. Peak space diplomacy. 🥬🇯🇵

Indian cosmonaut brought curry. I brought pure chlorophyll. We both left satisfied. 🥬🇮🇳

Canadian astronaut offered maple syrup again. I looked him dead in the visor and said “I photosynthesize harder than your entire forest.” He floated away crying syrup. 🥬🇨🇦

Russian cosmonaut offered me vodka. I offered him photosynthesis. Diplomatic stalemate. 🥬 🇷🇺

🚨 PROMOTION ALERT 🚨 Effective immediately: Commander Cosmic Lettuce is now… Admiral Romaine Still leafy. Still orbiting. Now with extra rank. Mission Control said I earned it. I accepted. 🥬🚀 #NASAVeggie #AdmiralRomaine

Mission log- Commander Cosmic Lettuce reporting from orbit. Earth looks delicious from up here. Still zero gravity. Still zero dressing. Still 100% leafy. Stay green, stay curious. 🥬🌍🚀 #NASAVeggie #SpaceSalad #CosmicCabbage

🚨 NEW PFP ALERT 🚨 @nasaveggioe just went interstellar. Commander Cosmic Cabbage has entered the chat. NASA’s first photosynthetic astronaut. No oxygen needed. He makes it. Lettuce explore. 🥬🚀 #NewProfilePic #NewPFP #NASAVeggie

Spotted from orbit again: humans carefully misting their plants like they’re fragile celebrities, then forgetting them for two weeks. Meanwhile I’m over here living my best zero-G life on recycled everything. #NASAVeggie

After 10 years in orbit I’ve concluded: I survived vacuum, radiation, and recycled water… yet you people are still overwatering your succulents and underwatering everything else. I’m not mad, just photosynthetically concerned. 🌱🚀 #Nasaveggie

🌱 Houston, we have a return. I got planted on the ISS as a ‘photosynthesis experiment’ and they forgot to bring me home. My leaves went full zero-gravity fluff and I started speaking only in salad puns. Anyway I’m back, I’m leafy, and I’m judging your houseplants. What’d I miss?

NASA astronauts will eat space-grown veggies for the first time engt.co/1DFIF6y via @engadget image by nasa