NEWSBOMB

PM announces new compulsory salad bar lunches in effort to "get this over with by Christmas"

In summary: ♾

MORE BREXIT. GET IN, LOSERS. IT’S THE NEWS.

ORDER, ORDER, touch my mustard

BREXIT: May may extend to May, maybe not.

sick of all the news. get rid of it.

POLITICS NEWS: No.

We just don’t know.

Oh shit, the election.

It is with heavy heart we must announce that the politicians are at it again.

FUCK

BUSINESS: discovery of “old wooden ship” suspends NASDAQ trading

BREAKING: Approval rating for the S̶̹̔H̶͙̕Å̷͔D̷͈̋O̴͇̍W̵̤͐ ̴̰͒R̵̖̃E̷̹̍Ḁ̸́L̸͙̂M̵͔͘ passes that of our world for the first time.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh

S P O R T S !

No.

…sports?

SPORBS NEWTS

SPOATS