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Neil Turton (@NeilTurton) profile picture

Neil Turton

@NeilTurton

D/M R/L/C. If I was a linesman, I would execute defenders who applauded my offsides. Don't know where things are in B&Q.

 Ilkley
soccermaxpodcast.com
Joined February 2009
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Photo by Neil Turton (@NeilTurton)Photo by Neil Turton (@NeilTurton)Photo by Neil Turton (@NeilTurton)Photo by Neil Turton (@NeilTurton)Photo by Neil Turton (@NeilTurton)Photo by Neil Turton (@NeilTurton)Photo by Neil Turton (@NeilTurton)Photo by Neil Turton (@NeilTurton)Photo by Neil Turton (@NeilTurton)Photo by Neil Turton (@NeilTurton)
Paging Doctor Marcel!!
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I dream of occasional fanzine mentions  I've been to one too many David Lynch Conventions  I play postal chess with a man who doesn't know me  I've got a better frown than Tony Iommi  And I've got a 4AD3DCD A 4AD3DCD
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Interesting that these people are technically classed as actors #BritishSoapAwards
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18 wickets today please mate
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Need friends to visit me and play Scythe.
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I’ve weighed up all the pros and cons of watching the under 21s, now let me gaze upon your curves instead of Ipswich Town reserves
#HMHB
Image from Neil Turton (@NeilTurton)
Get Arteta, play him in midfield, let me pretend it's 2007 again.
When a song starts with "Ground control to Monty Don"...
Cancel everything, let joy unfurl, it’s New Half Man Half Biscuit Album Day. open.spotify.com/track/48pJh…

Knobheads on Quiz Shows

Half Man Half Biscuit · No One Cares About Your Creative Hub so Get Your Fuckin' Hedge Cut · Song · 2018

open.spotify.com
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My renewed enthusiasm will of course disappear when we sign Wilshere
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What a week, got my club back go on holiday and got a new HMHB album
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#alehousefutsal
Yes. Please teapawt.org/hmhb_lyrics/status/997…
HMHB Lyrics Project (@hmhb_lyrics) profile pictureHMHB Lyrics Project@hmhb_lyrics18 May 2018
Happy New Half Man Half Biscuit Album Day, everyone! CD and vinyl available at all the expected outlets, or online for download and streaming. Please RT ...and enjoy! #HMHB
Image from HMHB Lyrics Project (@hmhb_lyrics)
Some coin in the barbers telling me the sacking was a disgrace. Absolute Brexit
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...and here it is: paullicino.tumblr.com/post/1…
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Basil: "Would you... would you care for a rat?" #BasilTheRat 🇬🇧 @JohnCleese
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Neil Turton retweeted
notBigSam (@TheBig_Sam) profile picture
notBigSam@TheBig_Sam16 May 2018
I would like to announce I have decided to leave Everton. Putting a fucking Angry Bird on the shirt was the last straw. Fucking tinpot.
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And I'm back, good riddance
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K is for the kissing of the badge How ridiculous that looks 6 months later when they're at another club
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