Going Back to Canon Harry Potter After a Month of Dracaena Malfoy Fan: Alright, time to watch some original Harry Potter again! Let's go! The movie begins. Draco Malfoy walks into Hogwarts. Fan: ... Fan: Wait. Fan: WHERE IS SHE? Friend: Who? Fan: WHERE'S MY DRACAENA MALFOY?! Friend: Bro, you forgot? Draco is a dude. Fan: ... Fan: No. Friend: Yes. Fan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! REALITY SUCKS! Friend: I'm sorry, mate. Fan: BUT SHE'S REAL! I SAW HER! I SPENT AN ENTIRE MONTH WATCHING HER BULLY HARRY, GET FLUSTERED AROUND HIM, AND PLAN WORLD DOMINATION WITH HIM! Friend: You were watching fanfiction. Fan: I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THIS INFORMATION! Friend: That's not how canon works. Fan: DEATH TO ROWLING! WHY COULDN'T SHE MAKE MY DRACAENA CANON?! Friend: HEY, HEY! IT'S OKAY! CALM DOWN! Fan: Hugs a pillow with Dracaena's face on it. Fan: I miss her... Friend: Mate, she's literally a fictional character. Fan: SHE WAS MORE REAL TO ME THAN MY TAXES! Friend: That's concerning. Fan: Looks at the screen as Draco smirks at Harry. Fan: ... Wait a minute. Friend: What? Fan: Harry's still there. Friend: Obviously. Fan: And Draco's still there. Friend: Yes? Fan: Slowly grins. Fan: THE FANFICTION ISN'T GOING TO WRITE ITSELF. Friend: Oh, no. Fan: Opens laptop. Fan: DRACAENA MALFOY: THE LOST CANON. Friend: BRO, PUT THE LAPTOP DOWN! Fan: SHE WILL BE REAL IN MY HEART! Friend: YOU NEED SLEEP! Fan: AND HARRY NEEDS HIS GIRLFRIEND! Friend: NOW THAT'S SOME DEDICATION AND YOU NEED A MED OK

The Almost-Date Dracaena Malfoy stood at a Muggle train station, playing on her phone while occasionally glancing around for Harry. She had arrived early. Not because she was excited or anything. Absolutely not. Dracaena: Hmm, where is he? Potter better not be late. I only came early because I had nothing else to do! She continued playing on her phone, secretly hoping Harry would arrive before her. A few minutes later, Harry came rushing toward her. Harry: Sorry, Dracaena! I got lost. Dracaena: Really, Potter? You're late to our date! Harry blinked. Harry: Our date? Dracaena's eyes widened. Her face immediately turned red. Dracaena: Ah! I mean... our friendship bonding! Obviously! Don't get the wrong idea, Potter! Harry: Oh, if that's what you want to call it, that's fine with me. Dracaena: Ah, really? Good! Hmph! She turned away, pretending to be annoyed while secretly feeling disappointed that he hadn't understood her feelings. Harry glanced toward the approaching train. Harry: Come on, Dracaena. The train's almost here. Dracaena: ...Hand. Harry: Hmm? Dracaena: Give me your hand, you idiot! We might get separated in the crowd! Harry chuckled and held out his hand. Harry: Haha, sure. Dracaena immediately grabbed it, her face turning bright red as their fingers intertwined. Dracaena: (Why is his hand so warm?! Calm down, Dracaena! You're a Malfoy! Act dignified!) Harry: Are you okay? You're awfully quiet. Dracaena: I'M PERFECTLY FINE! Harry: Right. Whatever you say. Harry smiled and gently squeezed her hand. Dracaena nearly forgot how to breathe. And as they boarded the train together, she silently made a decision. Next time, she would call it a date. Maybe. Probably. She needed a better plan.