Go bald, go icy blonde. Go bald again, go ginger.
Rock an afro afterwards. Go bald, go locs.
This is the dream.
My sister’s locs are at that beautiful stage where everyone wants to loc their hair because of her.
Meanwhile, I was there for her during the trying times. When she almost always looked like she was facing active electrocution, I WAS THERE, EGGING HER ON THROUGH IT ALL! 😂
Lagos people think their votes matter, lmao.
This man said there’s a ‘masterplan’ stretching until 2052! So bold, so nerve-racking.
Most of you know this story, but none of you have heard it from me.
Back in September 2018, Femi Hamzat wanted to be Governor of Lagos State. He had thirteen years of public service under Asiwaju and BRF, with the record and backing to win. Then party leaders asked him to step aside for me.
It takes a rare man to put down what he wants without nursing a grudge. Femi shook my hand and five weeks later, agreed to run beside me. I have never forgotten that.
Anyone can read a CV but only the person in the room with a man when the cameras leave can tell you who he really is. For 2,711 days, I have been in that room with him.
When COVID-19 hit, when we faced our hardest weeks, when the Blue and Red Lines ran and when the Lekki Deep Sea Port opened, Femi was there. Long before any ribbon was cut, he was asking the tough questions an engineer asks.
In many states, deputies are kept in reserve. On day one, Femi promised to be the best deputy governor in Lagos history. He kept his word. In seven years, there has not been a single day I wondered whose side he was on. We have had one government, one direction, and one voice.
Lagos runs on a relay system. The baton is never passed to a runner standing still. You run at full speed inside the exchange zone, together, before the pass. That is how Lagos has been governed for 27 years, from Asiwaju to BRF, to Ambode, to me.
Femi is a deputy governor like no other. He built the Lekki-Ikoyi Link Bridge under Fashola, digitized government under Asiwaju and holds a doctorate in engineering. His father served Lateef Jakande. This is in his blood.
Critics say Lagos keeps choosing from the same pool. I say Lagos trains its people. With major projects underway and a master plan stretching to 2052, this is not the time to experiment. What Femi presents today is not a campaign promise cooked up on a bus, it is the next leg of a race we have been running since 1999.
Lagos does not hand the baton to a man standing still. Today, you have seen the man who is already running. Let us move forward together with The Lagos PROMISE.
Unconventional retweeted
Why does the fight over "pregnancy is a death sentence" refuse to end? (2/2)
Because the dead do not quote-tweet. Each survivor is a witness for the defence, and the women who did not make it cannot testify. A grandmother with every birth behind her is the defence's favourite witness. Any neighbour who died in her own second labour left no story to tell.
Surviving is a lower bar than it sounds. Doctors have a name for the woman who nearly died but survived, the maternal near miss. Hospital studies in Nigeria have counted between two and ten of them for every woman who died. Not all of them heal.
Some lose the womb. Across Nigerian teaching hospitals, emergency removal of the womb runs at around two to six in every thousand deliveries, most often to stop bleeding that would not stop. Others leave with a heart that failed late in pregnancy or soon after, a condition Nigeria records at the highest rate in the world, and not every heart recovers. In one Zaria hospital, half the women put on dialysis for kidney failure after childbirth were still dialysis-dependent at discharge and could not afford more. Rarer still, surgeons in Kano have reported a new mother who lost parts of both legs to gangrene. Each year about 12,000 women leave labour with a fistula, a hole between the birth canal and the bladder or rectum left by labour that went on too long, and leak urine or faeces until it is repaired. In one Sokoto study, more than half of the women with fistula also had foot drop, nerve damage from the same labour that leaves a foot dragging. As recently as 2017, repairs fell about 7,000 a year short of new cases. Every one of these women goes into the record as a woman who lived.
The danger is unevenly shared. Just 172 local government areas, about one in five in the country, account for 55 per cent of maternal deaths. In Lagos, 86 per cent of births take place in a health facility. In Kebbi, fewer than one in ten do. A woman in Lagos and a woman in Kebbi are describing two different countries, and each is telling the truth about hers.
Since 2000 the world has cut maternal deaths by 40 per cent. Nigeria's figures improved by 13 per cent. The federal government proposed about 4 per cent of this year's budget for health, against the 15 per cent Nigeria signed up to in 2001. That shortfall is one reason the hospital costs more than families have. Where is the other 11 per cent? I gave the word "sentence" one paragraph in part one. Every year the timeline gives it a week, and that week spares the government that question. Those gaps are the verdict, and the first defendant is the federal government.
Years before any timeline fought over these words, a Nigerian state government vowed that pregnancy would no longer be a death sentence for its women. A government does not promise to end something that does not exist. The phrase was a confession before it was ever a tweet.
🐝🐆
I don’t know what is in the air, but TUBERCULOSIS prevalence lately is starting to be worrisome.
Healthcare workers and doctors, please take caution.
Unconventional retweeted
I don’t know if you noticed, but pepper has been a little cheaper lately. People living in Canada & other saner climes store produce in their freezers when there’s a surplus like this to save for rainy days.
Guess who cannot do that because of the terrible electricity situation?
Unconventional retweeted
I forget that tall people have different perspectives from us, iykyk.
My colleague asked where he’d find the hand sanitizer. I absentmindedly told him to climb a stool or jump to get it at the top of the shelf.
He looked at me, sighed & gave me a feather-light pat on the back.
Unconventional retweeted
This lady said APC is banking on the hopelessness of Nigerians to win again next year and I hear it. The people are spent and exhausted.
I forget that tall people have different perspectives from us, iykyk.
My colleague asked where he’d find the hand sanitizer. I absentmindedly told him to climb a stool or jump to get it at the top of the shelf.
He looked at me, sighed & gave me a feather-light pat on the back.
This lady said APC is banking on the hopelessness of Nigerians to win again next year and I hear it. The people are spent and exhausted.
I don’t know if you noticed, but pepper has been a little cheaper lately. People living in Canada & other saner climes store produce in their freezers when there’s a surplus like this to save for rainy days.
Guess who cannot do that because of the terrible electricity situation?
What do you even do when you notice you made a grammatical blunder five seconds after speaking? Pretend it didn’t happen? Call it out and correct yourself? Assume the person/people listening missed it?
I’m asking for a colleague, please. I’m never wrong.
Unconventional retweeted
No someone needs to start a doctor series skit
Una Dey see for that profession 😂😂😂
Unconventional retweeted
In contrast, if I may, we found our own voice. The video you watched was taken when we had very close colonial contact. So, we mimicked the English pronunciation, enunciation and diction.
What we have now, when you hear a Nigerian accent, is usually finally breaking through the language. We found our own voice. The Ghanaian accent is distinct for this same reason.
We now have the Nigerian English, it is not adulterated, it has adapted, quite usually, as other non- English speakers.
PS: this is a personal opinion.
Unconventional retweeted
I hope everyone listened carefully to what Peter Obi said! He made it clear that if he doesn’t win the 2027 election, he won’t be contesting for the presidency again. At 65, he cannot keep running for president indefinitely. By the next election cycle, he’ll be approaching 70, an age when he should be enjoying his retirement rather than starting another political battle.
This is why we cannot afford to take 2027 for granted. We still have a chance to change the direction of this country, and we must treat this election as if our lives depend on it, because to a large extent, they do.
If we waste this opportunity with Peter Obi, we may never get another chance like this again. Wake up, Nigerians! 2027 is our moment, and we cannot afford to get it wrong!
Be brutal, be toxic for your future
Unconventional retweeted
I asked my student to explain a procedure to a patient in Yoruba.
Pt: (flares up) Ṣé mo jó illiterate sí ẹ ni? Irú rubbish wo niyẹn?
Me: (sober and reflective) I’m so so sorry, ma. What’s your complaint?
Pt: My leg, he swell up. I go see doctor, she say make I do x-tray.😭
I asked my student to explain a procedure to a patient in Yoruba.
Pt: (flares up) Ṣé mo jó illiterate sí ẹ ni? Irú rubbish wo niyẹn?
Me: (sober and reflective) I’m so so sorry, ma. What’s your complaint?
Pt: My leg, he swell up. I go see doctor, she say make I do x-tray.😭
Dr. Rexy said you should check your blood pressure every day. She even tracks and documents hers before and after calls.
I’m doing the same and today makes it a week since I started.
You should check yours regularly too.













