Mr Twisty Cheeky

Grew up with a group of friends. We used to send Christmas cards to one another. Had a huge crush of one of them so I was looking forward to receiving it from her. She wrote a one liner and misspelt my name. Still haunts me till today

Passed my driving test just before lockdown so didn't do much driving after I passed, when lockdown lifted, I went out for a drive, was driving down my road on the wrong side for 2 minutes as I completely forgot what side was meant to be on

I vary the shops from which I buy my alcohol everyday as I don't want the shop staff to think I have a drinking problem. They know anyway.

When I broke up my my six boyfriend I went into Costco and cancelled his card. At this time they only scanned at the till. So he would of got all of his products. Went to the till and saw the card was cancelled.

There is a phantom alcoholic where I live who litters the lanes with cheap white wine bottles and carling cans. I pick these up when walking the dog and put them in my dustbin. I worry that the bin men are judging me on what they believe are my poor alcohol choices.

I babysat for an awful family with two kids. The kids had a pet rabbit they abused horribly. One day I volunteered to take him to the vet, told the vet to write on his card that he was euthanized and dead.. I took the bunny home. He turns 8 this summer.

My husband likes taking mucky photos of me in the nude. I don't mind, mainly because I've realised that he always does a brilliant job of tidying the bedroom up before we do it. I've started suggesting different rooms round the house; the en-suite needs a good scrub.

I fell in love with a woman created by the AI account "This Person Does Not Exist" and it kills me that we can never be together.

Got a child applying to Uni soon? Tell them not to stress too much about the personal statement. Chances are they won't be read and we're only looking at predicted grades. Love, a Russell Group Admissions Officer

I am always disappointed on opening a new bag of bananas not to find an exotic/potentially lethal amazonian spider lurking in the bag. I want to be the man in "Man finds deadly spider I supermarket bananas".

I'm a primary school teacher and I enjoyed today's water fight far too much. Absolutely soaked all of the little fuckers.

My mates and I let each other use our cards when out on a date and rumble up a massive bill to impress the girl. After the bill gets paid, the card owner freezes the card within a couple of minutes and tells the bank that the card has been stolen and the money gets refunded.