a man followed me for 4 exits because i tapped my horn once. not a long honk. the little polite one you do when someone doesn't notice the light turned green. i think about him every single time i get in a car now silver nissan altima. he wasn't yelling, he wasn't even mad looking. he was just staring at me in my rearview at every light, eating sunflower seeds and spitting the shells out the window one at a time like he had all day. he did have all day. i had a 2pm i didn't go home because i didn't want him to know where home was. i drove to a kroger and parked right by the entrance under the big light where the carts are, because i'd read once that's what you're supposed to do. i sat there for 25 minutes holding my keys between my fingers like i was going to fight a nissan he did one slow lap through the parking lot and left. i went inside and bought a rotisserie chicken i didn't want because i felt like i owed kroger something for keeping me alive the whole 25 minutes i kept opening my contacts trying to decide who to call and realized there was nobody i could call at 1:40pm on a tuesday without it being weird. i called my mom. she didn't pick up. she texted back "busy what's up" and i said "nothing just saying hi" that was 2019. i haven't honked since. someone cuts me off, i let them. someone sits at a green light scrolling instagram, i wait. i say "come on buddy" very quietly to my own steering wheel so nobody can hear it, not even the car my friends think i became a calm person. i didn't. i just assume everyone on the road is having the worst day of their life with a tire iron under the seat, and i'd like to make it to thursday last week a woman behind me honked because i was going exactly the speed limit. i waved at her. i don't know why i waved. she looked terrified