i'm in bed / i'm a pitching coach + i have newsletters for freelance writers & about pools / bylines @WSJ @menshealth @archdigest @mashable @GQmagazine @natgeo

Queens
Joined March 2009
Soo, after 2.5ish years of Approved Pitches for freelance writers, I'm starting a second newsletter for PR and comms people (agency or in-house) called Placements. All the info here: bit.ly/3ib83ch #journorequest
Replying to @RaeWitte
Approved Pitches will break down the pitch and the process that turn into a published story and paycheck. Each newsletter will include the live story, original pitch and subject line, the relationship with the editor, the rate and context. bit.ly/sqspAPRW
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I walked out of my apartment today and the very first thing I saw was a man pissing at a tree, no wall, no clear mental defects, not in between cars just facing the sidewalk and yes, death is the answer
Under my dictatorship men who spit on the streets and pee in public spaces will be publicly executed
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Sure, Anthropic may have stolen all the world's intellectual property, destroyed the education system, incited mass layoffs among the corporate class, devalued all art and destroyed social trust but somehow they also managed to lose $80 billion in the first half of 2026
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VERY important to make sure I get enough protein to fuel me through sitting on my ass all day worrying about money and death
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men that are obsessed with being treated like the good guy and the exception are often in denial that they’re the literal reason
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I genuinely didn’t know how much space this took up for people (outside of incels) until this year
like at some point we’re gonna have to address that there is a large portion of people who’s entire world view and ideology is shaped by them being upset they don’t have sexual access to the groups/people they want to. it’s pathetic and sad as fuck and I see it constantly
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I’d obviously love to write about it at some point
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Wrote a bunch of blurbs for the Time Best Inventions list too :)
🗣️ @PLAUDAI NotePin S 📰 @TIME The Best Inventions of 2026 ✍️ @RaeWitte
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I rly need to find more people that can free their afternoon bc the sun is out but don’t wanna spend it drinking 🫠
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Wrote about how the word “community” in branding is slowllllyyyy eroding on my client’s Substack yearofours.substack.com/p/ha…
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same with “not all men” when you talk about your experience with men but “I know how men are” when they don’t want other men to have access to you - pick one babe
“not all men” and “she should know better in a room full of men” coexisting in y’alls mind is nuts
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rae 🫠 retweeted
burn it. burn it all god
German police have seized a humanoid robot after it allegedly touched a 16-year-old girl in an indecent manner and made sexually suggestive gestures toward her. Investigators were trying to determine Wednesday whether the robot's actions were deliberately controlled by two young men who apparently livestreamed the incident in the western city of Cologne on social media. cbsn.ws/4yim6Rq
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I swam with horses dressed like a whore :)
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I genuinely love the way everyone is piling on Shane Gillis even though everyone knows no one respects him, his work or anything he says
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rae 🫠 retweeted
I’m gonna start saying “i drove all the way to Brooklyn…” when things don’t go my way
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Not punishing rapists in high school and/or college because of their "promising futures" is how you get a rapist for president. Twice.
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that’s boy math 💅🏻
The fact that you think sleeping with a woman makes you a man, but that same woman sleeping with you makes her a hoe, is a level of intellectual dishonesty that needs to be studied. You participated in the same act, but somehow you came out a king and she came out damaged goods? Mathematics of misogyny 2026 👏🏽😂
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Insecure people love trying to humble you. They think that everything you are is a challenge to them and if they can’t raise themselves up, they have to cut you down. It’s so unbecoming for an adult.
Replying to @erinisaway
tbh it is now a red flag for emotional abuse to me if someone completely drops off from every complimenting me. you’re supposed to wanna lift your partner up, supposed to make them feel seen and inspired!
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when you find yourself having thoughts like this it’s very important to step back and think “I need to get a bigger life”
People that read books on the train are lowkey kinda performative 😭
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