Any election where the winner isn’t who I want to win is RIGGED!

The election in Brazil was RIGGED!

UK stands for “Ugly Kings”!

Martin Luther King could have accomplished as much for the Black community as I have if he would have watched his diet and lived longer.

Jesus was a terrific guy! I’m a big fan of his, and he of me. I’m not saying I’m better than him though that’s what the Fake Media will say I’m saying. They’re filthy animals. All I’m saying is I’m taller than Jesus.

I think if God asked me to help him make the world, the world would be a much better place. I’m a world class builder. I own some of the premier properties on the planet. Nobody knows things like granite, concrete, grass or flagpoles better than me!

New Mexico will now be known as New America!

I don’t have syphilis. (I don’t think)

Since Britain decided not to help us against Iran (not that we needed it), we will help Argentina reclaim the Falkland Islands. Then we will beat the hell out of Argentina so we can win the Falklands. Maybe then the UK will be ready to make a deal with us to get them back.

Canada is so weak that I won’t need to send the US Army to defeat it. I can send in the Salvation Army to take what I want!

Canada is refusing to let the United States get oil from their oil sand fields! WAR!

I will be changing the name of North America to America America!

I will block all midterm election results of Republicans who lose

I will be making my birthday a NATIONAL HOLIDAY! Enjoy the day off! (MLK Day will be removed from the list of holidays)

Canada is historically American land. So we are going to be taking that back!

I have every right to run for President again. They rigged the election, so I deserve to run. As a matter of fact, I may just appoint myself President. It’s owed to me.

He will survive!

The blockade of Iran is LIFTED! The WAR IS OVER! Vote Republicans in the midterms. We are the party of PEACE!