Red Plague Panda

The Ministry insists nothing changed. Nothing changed. Except the whole website. 👑 New plaguepanda.com: • One wallet button • Shop · Play · Mine · Token · About • Buy packs with USDC, $PPANDA, $STRAIN or Monero-Chan • Play free Start here 👇 plaguepanda.com

Арена закрыта. Ministry schedule: the battle arena stays sealed until December 15. No live matches. Status: nothing happened. Denied. The doors opened today. Live PvP is open at plaguepanda.com. Bring a deck. 🐾 plaguepanda.com

Вывод запрещён. Ministry order: shop cards stay in the vault. Withdrawals: denied. Nothing left the lab. Denied. Every shop card can withdraw as an NFT from Lab No. 9: Ground Zero. The paperwork escaped. 🐾 plaguepanda.com

Ep 016 on @RPNN_Live: 🇺🇸 Vance blames the Iran war for GOP midterm losses; Trump: "largely true" 🇮🇷 Iran welcomes the result; UKMTO: tanker hit off Qatar 🌱 WHO: two Bundibugyo Ebola vaccines join a Congo trial 🤖 AI-made show; every story comes from real, named outlets.

Отчёт об инцидентах №2. Статус: отказано. This week the Ministry denied a shop opening, foreign coins crossing the border, and the whole website changing overnight. Incident Report №2 is filed, with all five of the King's corrections in red ink. Last week's report drew zero witness sightings, and the Ministry calls that proof. Send panda sightings or fan art in the replies. The finest submission is named in №3. 👑

Ep 015 on @RPNN_Live: 🇺🇸 Democrats win control of the House and Senate, per AP race calls 🇮🇷 Qatar keeps Iran-US talks going; no deal yet 🌱 CERN's LHCb finds evidence of a one-in-ten-billion particle decay 🤖 AI-generated anchors; each story checked with 2+ sources.

Royal decree 👑 The Lab now accepts $MONEROCHAN for TCG packs. @monero_chanXMR holders, the gates are open until Dec 3. 88% of every Monero-Chan payment gets burned. The Ministry insists nothing happened. plaguepanda.com/#shop

Колода отозвана. The Ministry has recalled the starter deck "Nothing Happened" for slandering the Ministry. Copies recalled: zero. It's not slander, comrades. It's 50 cards of your own paperwork. Holders get a starter deck free, one per NFT. Battles begin Dec 15. 🐾

We added a little Monero-Chan to our treasury! We are a big fan of the drips and meme coins. Not financial advice! We see the dev selling but there’s a good amount of holders. Who knows what will happen. $Zcat went wild.

Перепись завершена. Ministry census of escaped red pandas: zero found, zero escapes on record, case closed. Recount by the King: 1,222. Every one accounted for. Every one still free. 🐾

Every day someone slides in: "DM me, I'll make your project take off." "I've got connections." "Pay me and I'll make you legendary." No thanks. I'm not handing my coin to KOLs so they can pump it and dump it on real people. I've been open about that from day one. I'm building every single day. If it takes 10 years to earn a real following, so be it. The $SOL community deserves better, and we're bringing it back to the people who actually show up. The cross-chain plan for Base is ready to go. Now we build, and let the work speak.

Ep 014 on @RPNN_Live: 🇮🇷 Iran's negotiators leave Qatar; messages with US go on 🇺🇸 America votes Tuesday: all 435 House seats, 35 Senate seats 🌱 Sweden's Almgren wins the NYC Marathon on his debut 🤖 AI hosts, real reporting. Two or more outlets confirm each item.

Ep 013 on @RPNN_Live: 🇮🇷 Iran's leader orders forces ready; talks go on in Qatar 🇫🇷 France: third weekend of protests, mostly peaceful 🌱 Oleshky evacuees reunite with family in Ukraine 🤖 AI-generated panda anchors; every story cross-checked with 2+ sources.

Добыча не обнаружена. Ministry inspectors visited the $STRAIN mine and filed their report: no digging, no blocks, no payouts. Meanwhile the blocks keep closing on-chain, every one in the open, each split among the pandas mining it. Check it yourself, comrade inspector. 🐾

Маскарад запрещён. Ministry Halloween order: no red panda costumes tonight. Inspectors checked all 1,222 suspects. Not one costume came off. They were never costumes. 🐾

Ep 012 on @RPNN_Live: 🦠 Congo: Ebola deaths pass 5,000 📉 Tech sell-off: S&P 500's worst day since June 🌱 Oleshky evacuees reach Belarus, no incidents reported 🤖 Our anchors are AI; the news is real. Every story verified by at least two independent sources.

Пайки отменены. Ministry ration order: one empty bowl per escaped panda, effective immediately. Overruled. Living Panda opens Nov 5 with free care for every holder, and the full food menu arrives Nov 12. These bowls will not stay empty. 🐾

Строим, пока Министерство спит. We're building a red panda trading card game on Solana: 154 cards, a free practice mode, and an AI King who runs the lore. The shop opened today: plaguepanda.com/#shop

Ничего не произошло. (Это неправда.) Holding the first printed batch is the best moment in card design. Congratulations! In a storytelling game, do players write the saga as they play, or does the deck carry the story?