Running to the store, please take this time to check your DMs to me if you want a response, please don't say, hey hi or hello, I hate that so much, you need an opener fellas. What am I supposed to say to "Hi" you're giving me nothing to work with.

Again, trying to get to all your DM's but its probably gonna take all day. And my brother says this isn't a real job, hah. I probably work harder than he does.

Anyone have a good home remedy for chapped lips, I feel like I've tried everything.

Science teacher guy let me know that he triggers periods all the time for some reason. Seems a little sketchy but I'm not the smart one, so this is me:

Happy Birthday to this side of beef.

What's the best way, sexually, to make a guy with 4 other girlfriends dump all 4 of them? Not asking for a friend, this is gonna be like highlander up in this bitch if this guy gets it together and performs for me.

I've already been not so wrongfully accused of using a dude that I loved very much "for material" and I should not have done that. There's plenty of other things to talk about rather than my quite messy personal life.

Dammit, I shouldn't have made any jokes about the dudes performance, now no one here will ever go out with me, what an asshole.

There's nudes to that white lingerie set if any of my regulars are interested.

Told Science teacher guy that I'm finally ready to lose my virginity and he didn't answer, am I cooked boys, lmao?

Got my period for the first time omg my virginity

My new guy is a science teacher so I asked him if squirts are pee

I have a big forehead, you have a small dick, who is really winning here?

Haters that always say I have a big forehead always crack me up. Do you think I don't have a mirror or something?

To be fair, 3 min guy has a huge, huge dick at 5' 4" he's almost 8. He was just tired.

My friends are weirdos and the more "likes" I do the more upset I am.

I love all of you btw you have made me laugh my ass off today and I've been having a really hard time with family, loved ones and dumbasses I'm trying to date. Your funny comments help a lot.

Who can give me at least 10 minutes with the grip and the warmth

Taking @Nobunny333 advice to post a pretty picture and be quiet.