NgwanyanaWaMotswana 🇵🇸

I was watching a video on Instagram today where a Black doctor made a statement that really got me thinking about the world we live in and the double standards that continue to exist. He explained that two women could dress in exactly the same way, yet one would still be considered marriage material while the other would be judged, discriminated against, and subjected to derogatory remarks simply because of her race. For his illustration, he used a Black woman and a white woman. According to him, the white woman would still be considered respectable and suitable for marriage, while the Black woman would be condemned, ridiculed, and labelled with degrading names, sometimes even by people of her own race. He went further to explain that this same bias extends to relationships and marriage. He argued that a white woman could go through five or more divorces and still find herself accepted, desired, and remarried without her past being constantly used to define her. Meanwhile, a Black woman with a similar relationship history could be subjected to harsh judgement, called a "whore", and made to feel as though her past relationships had permanently diminished her worth. His point was that we live in a deeply biased world, where some people struggle to condemn what they consider wrong without allowing race, personal preferences, or selective morality to influence their judgement. And the more I thought about it, the more I realised how much truth there is in his observation. I have personally come across countless videos of women from other racial backgrounds confidently posting bikini pictures and videos on social media, receiving admiration, compliments, and praise from people across the world, including Black men and women. Yet, when a Black woman presents herself in a similar way, the conversation can suddenly shift to her morality, upbringing, self-respect, and suitability for marriage. Why should the same behaviour be celebrated in one woman and condemned in another? Why should one woman's past be viewed as part of her life experiences while another woman's past becomes a permanent label used to discredit her? I strongly believe that if we must condemn certain behaviours, then our standards should be consistent, regardless of race, skin colour, or personal bias. We cannot continue to excuse in one person what we aggressively criticise in another. Black women have endured unfair stereotypes, harsh criticism, and selective judgement for far too long. What makes it even more disappointing is that some of this discrimination comes from within our own communities. We cannot keep demanding respect for Black women while simultaneously participating in the very narratives that degrade them. Fairness should not depend on skin colour. Respect should not be selective, and morality should never be weaponised against one group while others are given a free pass. If something is wrong, let it be wrong for everyone. If something is acceptable, let that same grace extend to everyone. Black women deserve the same dignity, fairness, compassion, and freedom from prejudice as every other woman. The problem is not that society has standards. The problem is that too many people apply those standards selectively and call it morality. Reflect.