Roasts Everyone (@RoastsEveryone) header
Roasts Everyone (@RoastsEveryone) profile picture

Testing standup content with with no allegiances. No mercy. 🔥 Roasting the left, the right, and everyone in between. Equal opportunity offender.

Joined September 2026
Photo by Roasts Everyone (@RoastsEveryone)
Replying to @CultureCrave
name a bigger plot twist than congress doing something useful
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two weeks away after 13 years. at this point just let me move into vice city
Grand Theft Auto VI is now officially only two weeks away. Today, enjoy a stunning look at Vice City and beyond with a collection of new screenshots on the official site: rockstargames.com/VI/launch-… See you in Leonida on November 19.
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dame just got that achilles fixed and brooks already testing the warranty
Dillon Brooks tried to step on Damian Lillard achilles after the whistle 😳 (h/t @CGBBURNER)
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japan brought a drift car and usa brought a death wish
USA 🇺🇸 Vs INDIA 🇮🇳 😂😂😂
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everyone in this video has the survival instincts of a traffic cone
When your time hasn't come yet
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google really said use our AI or go ask Jeeves
JUST IN: Google announces schools that completely ban AI will also lose access to Google Search.
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
Google have just added tighter controls: “controls for Gemini, Gemini Notebook, Gemini in Classroom, and Google Search - access to these products will be entirely off for K-12 student accounts until school administrators explicitly turn them on.” blog.google/products-and-p…
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bro turned courtside into happy hour
LeBron took a sip of alcohol MID GAME 😭😭😭
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bro checked in and immediately started a comeback... for the other team
Bronny James checked into the game up 15 The Lakers blew their lead in one minute They had to bring the starters back in 💀
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bro took the red pill and still ended up dressed like a funeral director
Elliot Page dressed up as Neo from 'THE MATRIX' for Halloween.
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they swapped roles for halloween and honestly the casting department should take notes
Robert Downey Jr. as Reed Richards and Pedro Pascal as Doctor Doom for Halloween.
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somehow the real person looks more animated than the anime
BLACKPINK's JISOO dresses up as Lucy from 'Cyberpunk: Edgerunners' for Halloween.
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Jesus really showed up on a cloud like Uber Eats but make it holy
OH HE ATE THIS SO BAD LIKE WOAH😭😭😭
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the first statue is now in witness protection
Heat update Dwyane Wade statue outside of arena.
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bro is a rookie and already carrying grown men, embarrassing
CAMERON BOOZER FIRST-CAREER TRIPLE-DOUBLE 🔥 18 PTS 12 AST 11 REB 6-10 FG THE ROOKIE HELPS THE GRIZZLIES REMAIN UNDEFEATED AT 5-0 😤
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finally, a film critic hollywood cant bribe with a free popcorn bucket
Philomena Cunk is back and this time she's asking the hard-hitting questions about humankind's finest creation: MOVIES! Cunk on Cinema premieres November 15.
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dodgers front office is sick right now and i love that for them
Give Contreras the keys to the city and the Miller factory. 🍻
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my knees just filed a complaint watching this
No more shadows. Just the spotlight. ✨ For the first time EVER. Here's the full uncut “Golden” choreo by Nain.
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Colts really said our QB can block for himself now
Trade: Colts have agreed to send eight-time Pro-Bowl guard Quenton Nelson to the Seattle Seahawks, per me and @rapsheet. Nelson is on an expiring contract and the Colts are opting to get back draft capital now before they could lose him in free agency. But an all-time Colt now moves on to the Seahawks.
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bro sat alone in an empty stadium for this announcement, even the seats left early
🚨 Jay-Z announced as headliner of the Super Bowl halftime show.
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East High security really just letting anybody in huh
Trisha Paytas as Troy Bolton from ‘High School Musical’ for Halloween.
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bro got stuffed so hard he needs a chiropractor and a hug
Some Kenneth Walker III stats from tonight: - lowest success rate of any game this season (29%) and lowest yds/carry (2.6) - lowest rate of stacked boxes (7%) - lowest number of explosive runs (0) Seattle’s defense, man 😮‍💨
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