Tom Lyons

I bought a car this morning from a private party. They asked me to put "Jane Doe" on the cashier's check, but that did not match the title. On title was Jane's mom, who signed it over. They agreed to cash my check, and pose for a photo of daughter handing mom the cash.

Want your financing to go nowhere? Pitch buying out your 50% partner at a 7.5x multiple, so that "they can pursue other opportunities", and then justify the price based on "the payment we think we can afford." Works every time.

Here's a new one. At least this seller didn't attempt to deduct it as an expense.

"When a change of ownership transaction includes additional debt to support the purchase that is not on full standby...the Lender must apply an amortization that does not exceed 10-years. " Translation: higher leverage is harder to qualify for.

Update! Despite having shut the business down, the seller does not believe that any of their actions devalued the transaction. The deal is dead, tens of thousands of dollars and hundreds of labor hours were wasted, and we are all dumber now.

When Midwesterners type in "Yep, nope, yep, welp I guess so" into an AI platform, this conversation style would have to have cost the robots a lot in terms of learning curve.

I had a foster daughter. She's now 21. She's going through a breakup. The ex is ghosting and giving her breadcrumbs. I sent her a link to "Better Be Good To Me" by Tina Turner, and referred to her as the Patron Saint of taking zero sh1t from men. She does not get the reference.

My hot take bound to get me in trouble but I'm prepared to stand my ground on... "Setting interest rates" is just as stupid as a price control on any other product.

My favorite part of my job is when a seller's broker has a client who has been prepped for what's next. My least favorite part of my job is when I have to do what a seller's broker was supposed to have done. My 2nd least favorite part is when a seller has no broker.

“Tom, I was hoping to introduce you to my friend who is selling his business.” “Shouldn’t you introduce me to the buyer?” “Maybe but the seller is running point on the financing.” I already know how this is going to go and I hate it.

I'm working on my 3rd deal of the year where we approved a financing structure that was called for in the LOI and the seller ended up welching. One had no broker, the other two had brokers who lost control of the situation. I don't know how seller's brokers do it.

Sellers! Pairing your property with your business? If you want to tank that deal after LOI, just surprise the buyer by shutting the company down! You'll waste thousands in buy-side due diligence, embarrass yourself, compromise the deal, and cost yourself big bucks. Enjoy!

When a buyer refers to a seller as "Captain Dip$hit" months after the seller killed the deal, you know it didn't go well at the end between the involved parties.

You too can buy an electrical contractor for $6.5 mil, and it INCLUDES $5 million in accounts receivable! WOW WHAT A FREAKING DEAL. (BTW: "Accounts Receivable" doesn't mean invoices to be paid. It means a backlog of jobs not having been started. Is that material to a buyer?)

Prediction time. I have great competitors who do a great job. I also have competitors that...are less serious than they think they are. The market share of SBA business going to me and legit competitors over the next five years is going to increase. There I said it.

Two business partners. They borrow an EIDL loan. Their assistant types in the wrong address. SBA sends collection notices to the address on file, and eventually sells the paper to a collection agency. No, you can't borrow more money via an SBA loan now.

Not sure who needs to hear this, but on the Mount Rushmore of fruits: peaches, strawberries, blueberries, cherries. You're welcome.

Not sure who needs to hear this, but on the Mount Rushmore of fruits : peaches, strawberries, blueberries, cherries. You're welcome.

I know no more or less about acquisition lending than any other professional operating in this space, but I do know more than the average seller working without a broker. The next seller without a broker to tell me how I'm supposed to do my job is going to make me go postal.