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When I die I want my remains to be scattered at Disneyland, but I don't want to be cremated.
So the new pope is from Chicago, the only thing worse than being a kiddie diddler is being a cubs fan.
Speakeasy Sawyer retweeted
Me: “don’t worry officer it’s medicinal”
Officer: “Sir that’s a open bottle of Tito’s”
*lunges for the officers service weapon*






















