This is brilliantly said. I repeat for emphasis: "... there’s an almost autistic fixation on fairness when it comes to getting to do extracurricular activities [...] couples seem to find parity by doing absolutely nothing..." It's completely true. I remember my Russian friend in the military was always talking about this, about how in Russia, American men are viewed as being hopelessly effeminate and pistol-whipped by their wives, and that for him, it was the only negative stereotype he heard about Americans as a kid that seemed to be 100% true... Yet when I say to my married friends, "let's go out for a beer," it's as if I've asked them to broker a nuclear arms deal... I am sorry to ask but what sort of men are these? For society to function, men must have a sufficient amount of liberty to spend extended periods of unscripted, non-work-related time amongst other men, and this element of a manly life is so important it should functionally preclude men from all domestic motherly roles... The Mexicans, the Italians, the Irish, they understand these things. Very rich and very poor men appear to as well. But for some reason most middle-class white American men are caught in this weird, "carceral domesticity" at the behest of their niggling wives. I am not trying to sound "red pilled" here, and have never cared for that scene at all -- but frankly I find this whole thing to be bizarre, repulsive, and completely at odds with a civilized conception of both family and society.