Nothing like reconciling your Amex statement and remembering the time you offered to “get the next bottle” at Karaoke City in NYC $800. ONE LITER OF TITO’S. I literally said, very loudly, “Um, WTF. Can I change my mind?!” @DonovanBuilds was right there sharing my horror and then SPLIT IT WITH ME. #retwit friendship is beautiful. NYC nightlife is a scam.

CRE broker by day. Comedian Tuesday night. I'm headlining A Night of Comedy for CREW Fort Lauderdale | Boca Raton, raising scholarship money for women in CRE. Oct 27, Improv Dania Beach. Doors at 6, show at 7. Tickets: crewnetwork.org/join/crew-fo…

Spent 20 minutes looking for the light switch in a vacant building. Found it. It was the breaker panel.

My favorite part of showing retail space is when the tenant starts arranging imaginary furniture with their hands.

Landlord: "Why is my space still vacant?" Me: "You're asking downtown Miami rents in Palm Bay."

"The men that conquered this land slept in mud, and their grandkids complained about the temperature of the wine," -Julius Caesar a story about Gen Z's

Signed a lease today. The tenant brought donuts to the signing. Ten out of ten, would lease to again.

Seller: "I want a 5 cap." Me: "The building wants a roof."

This post wasn’t about residential real estate.

I bet it sucks to be a cop in a patrol car trying to get somewhere with urgency while everyone around you drives under the speed limit because they're scared of you. Does that drive police officers crazy?

I've never understood why brokers put "Under Contract" or "Sale Pending" on their sign. Don't you want backup interest? Don't you want leads for your other listings? You're basically saying "don't call me"

Showed a warehouse today. The tenant's kid asked if he could ride his scooter in it. Honestly, best use case I've heard all week.

Resi agent: "It's a great value add opportunity." Me: "Does it come with the bulldozer or is that extra?"

how it feels being a lady at @ICSC

I just heard a comic say on a podcast “am I depressed or is my life depressing” Profound

People who don’t get AI aren’t skeptical. They’re offended they’re behind.

Theres so such thing as a day off. - CRE Brokerage Owner.

Just audited all my bots and AI agents. Here is my weekly input vs their weekly output. What I put in: 7 to 10 hours a week for AI to run. What I get out: the work of 9 - 10 employees. Payroll I'm not carrying: Florida ~$730k a year vs. offshore VAs ~$250k

Not me searching "How to make Athleisure Office-Appropriate"...

You should be able to leave a 1 star review when a Realtor is a twat to work with.