We are pleased to announce that we have made looksmaxxing illegal to systematically discriminate against Incels. All hammers, shoulder pads, height boosters, and HGH will be forcibly taken from the Romantically Impoverished.

We are pleased to announce that our State-Sponsored Actors have successfully breached someone's crypto wallet and seized its funds. In completely unrelated news, our National Cryptocurrency Reserve has been unfortunately stolen by an unidentified group of hackers.

We are saddened to announce that our Government website was hacked due to the recent php vulnerability. Fortunately, no State services were disrupted, as the website never worked to begin with.

We are pleased to announce that we have found a previously-undiscovered Hopium reserve. Strategic release of the gas to alleviate Chud-epidemics in billions-must-die centers will be administered by the authorities.

We are pleased to announce that we are Endorsing Bibi Typenyahu in the next Keysraeli elections. We have found the other candidates too moderate towards the West Blank and QWERZA strip.

We have determined that if you don't shoot your protestors, they will eventually create a never-ending list of demands, and burn down your Country if you fail to fulfill them. But, if you shoot your protestors, they will only have one demand, "Please Don't Shoot Us".

We are pleased to announce that We are removing the letter “B” from “DUMB,” as we have concluded that most people don’t know the letter "B" exists there anyway. The new spelling is the much more easier, "DUM".

We are pleased to announce that we have officially submitted our Free-puppy-for-everyone** proposal to the United Nations. The first clause, of course, calls for The US to fund it, and also demands Israeli withdrawal from Gaza immediately. **Effective only in Vietnam/China.