Tacitusdathicusvt♟️🪽

watching the magnificent century like i personally have a stake in the ottoman succession 😭 like i was supposed to watch one episode why is it suddenly 3am

a little explanation as to why i'm not the biggest collab person because i feel bad about it ദ്ദി( T ᗜ T ) i'm a VERY introverted and anxious person, and there are very few people i can actually be comfortable and talkative around. i'm much better at interacting with people when i'm behind my own screen, in my own little corner, doing my own thing. put me in a call with someone i'm not super comfortable with yet and suddenly i forget how to be a human being (ᵕ—ᴗ—) i also tend to do better with people who can take the lead sometimes! someone who can keep the conversation going, guide me through things when i'm lost, or take charge when my brain decides to stop working. if we're both quiet and i'm left standing around not knowing what to do, especially when chat is quiet too, i start overthinking EVERYTHING. i'm also still pretty new to gaming compared to a lot of people! i only really started exploring bigger games when i began streaming, so i need a little patience and someone who won't mind carrying me sometimes ♡ there's also a language barrier, especially in bigger collabs where multiple people are talking at once. english isn't my first language, and i genuinely struggle to keep track of who's saying what, follow multiple conversations, and find a moment to jump in. by the time i've processed everything, the conversation has already moved on (◞‸◟,) i think there's also a part of me that struggles with the networking side of streaming. i know collabs can be a lovely way to meet people and make friends, but i don't want to feel like i have to do them just to grow or maintain connections. living in turkey also means i'm in a very different time zone from many of my streamer friends, so showing up to their streams isn't always possible. i try when i can, but sometimes mutual support is harder to balance than it looks. i'd much rather build genuine friendships without feeling like either of us has to keep score. so please don't take it personally if i'm hesitant about collabs!! i'm always grateful when someone thinks of me and invites me ♡ i just get overwhelmed easily and need to feel comfortable before i can really relax. i'd rather do a collab because we're genuinely excited to hang out and play together than because i feel obligated to say yes. anyway, thank you for coming to my ted talk :3 ♡