I have to be clear about something. On April 20, 2025 at precisely 4:20pm, I was approached by a leading member of the E4 Mafia in the energy drink isle at the commissary. I will call him “SPC Jones.” He then pulled on one of the White Monsters and we descended via a hidden elevator into his secret lair. As he sat down on his throne of Zyn logs, SPC Jones made me an offer that I couldn’t refuse and I have been compensated to make posts on this account ever since. My directive has been to manipulate my followers (you) to focus on ejection port covers and detritus in order to steer away from the narrative of walking on grass and PT belts. I apologize for nothing.

*scan boarding pass Gate Agent: have a good flight. Me: thanks, you too…

I seem to have a 100% chance for a random security check when I fly out of Fayetteville. Hell of a USO though, great people.

Can’t right now, saving the world.

Danny Detritus. Dude hates my guts.

Called it. Don’t make him a spectacle. Afford the families the opportunity for closure.

When my wife makes cinnamon rolls, I eat cinnamon rolls. I can’t articulate that more clearly.

Happy birthday to the US Navy!

My AUSA experience.

I did this at least 4 times when I was a 1SG because I locked myself out of the office. After the first time I repositioned the wall locker in my office so I could descend onto it instead of almost dying.

I really wish I could be at AUSA; it looks fun and informative. Unfortunately, I have a job. I’ll be watching the livestream from my battle station today, though.

I’m a lazy procrastinator. But man…when I focus on getting stuff done, I crush it. Got to get it done so I can stare at the wall again and wait for the next last minute deadline.

Again?!?!?? Jooooooonnnessss!

BN S3: “2LT Jones-need you to put a slide deck together about how we are going to capitalize on virtual training. You have the whole four day weekend to work on it.”

Results of sleep study: You’re gonna do another one and we are going to make you sleep on your back the whole time. Cool.

POG deserves it. I’M KIDDING!!!! Bust seriously, probably a five jump chump, just get rid of the wings and rock that CAB “in the prone.”

Saint Brazier moving to the breach.

Telling SPC Jones to leave his boots outside.

Don’t…