Tim Hanlon

WAWA Vs. Cumberland Farms #jokes #standup #standupcomedy #funny

Pretty cool of all the major sports leagues to avoid scheduling any games at 12:30 Thursday afternoon, so that the WNBA can have the spotlight all to themselves.

People are like"everything sucks" but I'm like, we get public executions and the president is buying it for for$5,000! Do that's pretty cool.

Politicians should be forced to send their campaign spam texts from their personal phone.

Trump is tough on crime, unless she was asking for it

Crazy that a bunch of guys got away with rape under this administration.

Breaking News: the two Chinese Panda Bears were just shot by an ICE agent

What is the over under on the first time we hear about a police officer firing on a Waymo? I Say Jan. 7th 2028

Time to retire the phrase "Could be worse"

Trump's getting grumpy, someone needs to change his diaper

Mitch McConnell looks like he's been getting his medication from Trump RX.

The FBI will now accept applicants who have admitted to commiting acts of beastiality. When asked for comment the dogs said "Ruh Rough"

I think the bomb dogs are a little upset about the new FBI protocals

Kash Patel really screwed the pooch yesterday

Mitch McConnell is back and looking as reptillian as ever

Next time y'all vote for a "business man" for President. Can you at least pick someone who is actually good at business?

Trump promised everyone $5,000 payola dividends. I'm gonna use mine to buy 8 gallons of gas!

How's the economy??? Well... we used to sell gold for cash, now we sell our plasma.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? To avoid a Flock camera recording and selling his personal information to a 3rd party.

Flock Cameras are data collectors, not cameras. A company would not be valued at $7 Billion because it "helped" recover 13 stolen cars.

For a state thats Governor is on wheels, the roads in Texas suck.