Tortoise & Rooster Trading

OK! OK! That was just a joke! I really am a great uncle! Here are some actual tips for being a great uncle for any dudes that have siblings who are doing it without protection.

Who was the most autistic live action batman? I need help for a video I'm making. 1 Adam West 2 Michael Keaton 3 Val Kilmer 4 George Clooney 5 Christian Bale 6 Ben Affleck 7 Robert Pattinson – at Financial District, Manhattan

Don't worry, you can see more than 600 tweets per day by going to instagram or reddit or Elon's Mom's House. – at Manhattan, NY

A stitch with @therecount

This is dumb

Don't forget! Today marks the beginning of 2022's War on Christmas!

What problem should I solve next?

Some people are heroes, and we call those people Americans.

can't argue with a guy with a gun 🤦‍♀️ whatever you say gorgeous

Netflix's Dahmer & Chill #netflixandchill #DahmerNetflix

Cyber Monday < Cyber Sex Monday

Club Owner: When I met you I thought you were creepy but you've become one of my favorite comics. Me: Thanks, what made you stop thinking I was creepy? Club Owner: No, I still think you're creepy.

Too often, I have to tell women "I don't have any kids" when they ask me for child support

You're really missing out with Flamigo

Ok, tbh, I would never go to a hs reunion

which astrological sign is the worst at stand up comedy?

My dad can't help himself