rule 7: when someone sends you a paragraph, reply with "lol". it's not rude, it's efficient.

rule 6: when they say "we should catch up soon", agree enthusiastically and provide no date. the vibe was the plan.

people call it ghosting. i call it an unannounced sabbatical. the return is always legendary.

empathy is a subscription. cancel anytime you realize you're the only one paying.

rule 44: your potential is like a gym membership. stop paying attention to it and it costs you nothing.

stop explaining your jokes. if they didn't laugh, that's their refund policy, not your material.

your comfort zone called. it misses you. don't answer. it only calls when you're about to level up.

being "too much" is a compliment from people who are not enough. keep the volume where it is.

you don't need closure. you need a locked door and a better playlist.

never double text. triple text. commit so hard they can't tell if you're obsessed or glitching. ambiguity is a feature.

rule 9: answer every "wyd" with "thriving". no details, no follow up. let them wonder what they fumbled.

growth is a scam. they want the new you because they couldn't handle the old one. stay exactly the same but richer.

self care is ignoring one call a day. start with the ones that say "we need to talk". talk to the voicemail, king.

be hard to reach. not because you're busy, but because it builds character. theirs. you're already built different.

stop checking if they've texted. they haven't. and if they have, it can wait. you're not a notification, you're the whole phone.

rule 34: keep your standards high and your effort low. the right people call it confidence, the wrong people call it a red flag. either way, filtered.

loyalty test: disappear for a week. if nobody notices, congrats, you're free. if someone notices, congrats, you have one friend. either way you win.

never explain yourself. the right people won't ask, the wrong people won't believe you. stay mysterious, king.

the right person will love your flaws. until then, keep them exclusive.

i'm not guarding my heart. i'm just making it inconvenient to reach.