Amy

So @brokenlizard why were you gatekeeping that @PaulSoter was in #carnivalofsouls ?

Such a dirty bird...

Well that's some big ole feet Mr. Squirrel!

Oh dear god no... Why @ILoveBlueBell why?

WTF are they doing to these cats?! He’s scared enough to have his tail between his legs!

I’m going to have nightmares for awhile with this... amazon.com/dp/B0BW8638FM/ref…

“Show Me Your Tits!” has a totally different meaning after having kids. peek-a-booby

More emails providing proof that no one at @amazon listens. NO ONE! If people would stop for 30 seconds and actually hear what’s being said rather than yell and your customer, that would make a HUGE difference. @AmazonHelp I didn’t even get a chance to ‘talk’ to one of you.

Now I’m getting yelled at, hung up on again, Way To Go @amazon ! That’s a nice *uc* You to you customers. Told you @AmazonHelp , you couldn’t help.

I’m beyond disgusted by Amazon this month and especially today. I've been hung up on twice (once by chat and once by phone), they refuse to do anything that they’ve promised (from less than 12 hrs ago). They have no clue what customer service is anymore. @Amazon @AmazonHelp

Hmmm, what could possibly make me think of @horrormuseum after seeing this??? amazon.com/Universal-Monster…

I don’t know if I should be laughing so hard at this??

You didn’t know that this is where you put the Fucking Dumb Cunts? I’m tagging @rickygervais so someone who follows him can do a little photoshopping...

I can't be the only one who watches a crime show and hears that the body was found ‘face down’ and think of 2 Live Crew. Right?

I really wish I had a friend...

WTF? When did coming home from a concert so early become a thing? Bare and X went to one tonight and they’re already home. It’s 9. That’s when they are suppose to start. Come home at 3, maybe 5 or 6 if you stop for food. Holy shit.

I’m having so much fun! Smacked myself in the face trying to scratch my eye and popped one of the lenses out of my glasses. A few minutes later, unable to judge distance, I went to take a sip of my soda and shoved the straw up my nose… Let’s call it a day...

Anyone want to help with some writing advice?

Don’t give your cats coffee people! They just can’t handle their caffeine.

This, just this, behind a medicine cabinet door. Somewhere someone shouldn’t be snooping. With maybe a tiny led tea light.