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Before google maps you just had a buddy in another car who said โfollow meโ then proceeded to run a late yellow at the next intersection.
Bummer T. Vibes, Esq retweeted
You can claim to be friends with a goat but he'll eat any bracelets he's given. It might be personal.
Bummer T. Vibes, Esq retweeted
She's a 7 but knows Tralfamadore is 423 billion miles from Earth and its atmosphere is cyanide.
Bummer T. Vibes, Esq retweeted
The tarot cards showed me choking on a gobbler in the wawa parking lot
Bummer T. Vibes, Esq retweeted
*searching around the criterion closet for around 12 minutes until i turn & look directly at the camera*
okay, just show me where tuff turf is.
Bummer T. Vibes, Esq retweeted
the line behind me grows longer as cashier at the grocery store repeats my total over & over while i stare blankly off into space wondering who the first dog to reach the top of mount everest will be.
Bummer T. Vibes, Esq retweeted
If you ever get attacked by a badger, throw some piranhas at it if you have some piranhas.
Of all the things to make you temporarily oblivious to the horrors around you, you chose to read this.









