Article 67: Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing, another Bro shall point out that he is a tool.

Article 118: When a Bro is with his Bros, he is not a vegetarian.

Article 28: A Bro will, in a timely manner, alert his Bro to the existence of a girl fight.

Article 142: A Bro shall seek no revenge if he passes out around his Bros and wakes up to find marker all over his face.

Article 77: Bros don't cuddle.

Article 72: A Bro never spell-checks.

Article 133: A Bro only claims a fart after first accusing at least one other Bro.

Article 49: When asked, "Do you need some help?" a Bro shall automatically respond, "I got it," whether or not he's actually got it.

Article 121: Even if he's never skied before, a Bro doesn't trifle with the bunny slope.

Article 143: When executing a high five, a Bro is forbidden from intertwining fingers or grasping his Bro's hand.

Article 15: A Bro never dances with his hands above his head.

Article 100: When pulling up to a stoplight, a Bro lowers his window so that all might enjoy his music selection.

Article 5: Whether he cares about sports or not, a Bro cares about sports.

Article 122: A Bro is always psyched. Always.

Article 93: Bros don't speak French to one another.

Article 101: If a Bro asks another Bro to keep a secret, he shall take that secret to his grave. This is what makes them Bros, not chicks.

Article 12: Bros do not share dessert.

Article 84: A Bro shall stop whatever he's doing and watch Die Hard if it's on TV.