On a beach in Devon watching solar eclipse, 4 young kids playing football, giving themselves player names. Zidane. Keane. Xavi. Then one of em screams LEE TRUNDLE!!! and pings it off some dad's head about 20 yards away. Lee fuckin Trundle. Kid looked 10 max. Football heritage.

.@Guinness_Global hey please can you partner with @PerfectDraft_uk? Desperately want/need my Guiness fix on draft at home!

Woke up fuming cos we can't even blame the referee after last night. Penalty was the correct decision, and red card was too. Pedersen just go, please.

Brought in Liverpool's most exciting winger who had options in Europe to have him sit on the bench. Exciting youngster at the back sat at home watching Otegbayo bundle players over like a fucking idiot, and repeatedly playing J.Lowe when he's a ghost for 75 mins. WTF.

We sacked Gary Megson after a Derby winning match because we saw we needed better football, btw. Get this useless twat gone.

Please @swfc #swfc

Why am I now learning there is a random beef between Fulham and fucking Barnsley 😂😂😂 For what it's worth, would love to see Shea Charles bang 3 in against them dingleberries 😂