☣ reclusive ⬝ uncomfortable ⬝ godawful jokes ⚛ small+strange ⬝ quietly curious ⬝ perpetually pessimistic ⬝ cmedy lover ⬝ full-time nobody ⬝ i hve gray hairs ⬝

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Joined October 2015
I'm not mad at your funny tweet with spelling errors, just disappointed.
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*in a toxic relationship with the U.S. government*
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| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
We've made life look like we only came to find money and die.
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used to be impressive when i ordered over $30 of fast food for myself—now that’s just the price of a small fry, anyone can do it
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| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
who tf is keeping boss baby in the top 10 on netflix
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| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
People with good taste in music don’t stick to one genre.
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| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
1pm - 3pm is actually 15 hrs long
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I love how TSA rules are different at every airport and they look at you like you're a fucking idiot when you don't speak their regional dialect of security theater.
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| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
Every time I pay $400 for groceries, I just have to remind myself to be grateful for the new White House ballroom and the war in Iran
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i don’t update this app until i’m forced to and each time is worse than the last. if i wanted my own garbage front & center i would’ve already done it
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| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
Just because someone else is stupid doesn't mean you're not.
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| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
the older I get, the fucker the no
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| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
you looked so beautiful flooding me with information
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| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
Anyone else have to spell some words when their dog is around?
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| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
sorry i called ur magic wand a stick
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| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
Sometimes we get too busy wishing one particular person dead that we forget about all the other people we wish dead.
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| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
having an intrusive thought and shaking my head to show the mind readers i don't approve
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