Rubsomedirtonit™️ · Jan 21, 2018 · 3:08 PM UTC

Rubsomedirtonit™️

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Rubsomedirtonit™️@_rubdirtonit21 Jan 2018

Walks into confessional. Slides phone through slot.

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Stu, For Real · Oct 31, 2026 · 1:04 PM UTC

Rubsomedirtonit™️ retweeted

Stu, For Real@StuForRealOct 31

Woke up possessed by all of the demons in hell again

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e l l a 🇨🇦 · Oct 31, 2026 · 12:36 AM UTC

Rubsomedirtonit™️ retweeted

e l l a 🇨🇦@blondehotcoffeeOct 31

dressing up as a turtle and going trick or treating the day after halloween

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grenadine girl · Oct 30, 2026 · 4:43 PM UTC

Rubsomedirtonit™️ retweeted

grenadine girl@sizzylockOct 30

logging on to linkedin and commenting who cares on every post

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tasman · Oct 31, 2026 · 1:44 AM UTC

Rubsomedirtonit™️ retweeted

tasman

@lildorothy_Oct 31

whenever i get horny my wife sprays me with the hose

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rrudie · Oct 31, 2026 · 2:08 AM UTC

Rubsomedirtonit™️ retweeted

rrudie@_pressuredrop_Oct 31

how long does a happy meal take to kick in?

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Marcmywords · Oct 30, 2026 · 12:36 AM UTC

Rubsomedirtonit™️ retweeted

Marcmywords@Marcmywords2Oct 30

Just because I don’t understand it doesn’t mean I want you to explain it.

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JRGin · Oct 30, 2026 · 9:30 PM UTC

Rubsomedirtonit™️ retweeted

JRGin@GinRumMeOct 30

Any time you can get ricotta involved is a good time.

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Taro · Oct 30, 2026 · 7:18 PM UTC

Rubsomedirtonit™️ retweeted

Taro@YuranagiiOct 30

I saw someone at In-N-Out fill his water cup with sprite and he told me "dont be a hero" then flashed his 9mm concealed carry at me

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Horatio Quartzjixler · Oct 29, 2026 · 10:17 AM UTC

Rubsomedirtonit™️ retweeted

Horatio Quartzjixler@QuartzjixlerOct 29

I brought my stamp album to the strip club so these women know I like to party.

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𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓 · Oct 29, 2026 · 6:18 PM UTC

Rubsomedirtonit™️ retweeted

𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓

@MoMohlerOct 29

Maybe your baby is crying because he wants a Crunchwrap Supreme.

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barrel rolls · Oct 30, 2026 · 12:51 AM UTC

Rubsomedirtonit™️ retweeted

barrel rolls@barrel_rollsOct 30

for halloween i’m going to be a horny little freak

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Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ · Oct 29, 2026 · 8:56 PM UTC

Rubsomedirtonit™️ retweeted

Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ

@Bob_JankeOct 29

If your TV show isn't about Bigfoot, dinosaurs that still live in the Congo or UFOs I'm usually not interested

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inspector ratchet · Oct 29, 2026 · 5:30 PM UTC

Rubsomedirtonit™️ retweeted

inspector ratchet@_hood_mona_lisaOct 29

Why does the IT manager have "semper fi" in his email signature . Sir you are resetting a password for a guy named doug

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Marcmywords · Oct 29, 2026 · 4:05 AM UTC

Rubsomedirtonit™️ retweeted

Marcmywords@Marcmywords2Oct 29

Fuck me like an Insurance Company.

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𝖓𝖆𝖟 · Oct 6, 2026 · 10:22 PM UTC

Rubsomedirtonit™️ retweeted

𝖓𝖆𝖟@nazzygirlxxOct 6

they stop asking for ur ID once the light in ur eyes is gone

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Marcmywords · Oct 3, 2026 · 12:47 PM UTC

Rubsomedirtonit™️ retweeted

Marcmywords@Marcmywords2Oct 3

Good Morning Forecasters Of The Gloomy W W W

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Employee Tears · Oct 2, 2026 · 4:23 PM UTC

Rubsomedirtonit™️ retweeted

Employee Tears

@EmployeeTearsOct 2

If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me a week to realize I wasn't at work anymore.

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MD · Oct 1, 2026 · 2:46 AM UTC

Rubsomedirtonit™️ retweeted

@mike_daddinoOct 1

🍆🍆 of the night goes to Willson Contreras

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🤐 · Sep 25, 2026 · 1:45 PM UTC

Rubsomedirtonit™️ retweeted

🤐

@zippermouth_Sep 25

did you know friday is still considered a real work day in some cultures?

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The B. · Sep 30, 2026 · 12:27 PM UTC

Rubsomedirtonit™️ retweeted

The B.

@anerdonfire2Sep 30

I will not hesitate to walk in twirling flaming batons.

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