the airbnb argument is just a perpetual loop of hosts saying "it's our home, so we ask that you strip the beds, start a load of towels, take out the recycling, and leave it how you found it" and guests replying with that one mad men scene

clean girl? never heard of her

am i just chopped & unc or are people not drunk calling/texting like they used to?

do republicans have any normal looking people anymore or is it kind of like a voldemort situation where they become less human looking bc they’ve traded their soul for power so many times?

every time i go to urgent care I pretty much just pay $60 for them to be like “yes you are sick 🙂👍🏻”

the reason you shouldn’t bring an iced coffee to an interview is bc you don’t want to clue them into the fact that that’s how you’ll be showing up every single morning + 15 min late if they hire you.. let them find that out after you’re already locked in the job

the best part about the airport is being surrounded by people whose first day on planet earth is today

I love passing by all the people sitting in first class and begging them to save me from poverty with my eyes

the only good thing about living in the worst timeline imaginable is that we get days like today

why do beavers build dams… like what do they gain

you’re not a “funcle” you’re 37 and have the emotional intelligence of a fruit fly

the stars need to perfectly align & mountains need to be moved in order for me to take a pic w my friends that everyone likes how they look in, im not even sure it is possible

do either of these candidates speak english im so serious rn what are they talking abt does anyone speak senile

there’s the wordle players who use the same strategic vowel packed word for every first guess… and then there’s the dreamers.. the believers.. the truly courageous who will never give up the pursuit of the single guess victory

having the stove fan on activates my fight or flight

why do ppl who want to run marathons make it everyone else’s problem

dare i say swifties are becoming the new disney adults