Spider-Man

it happened again

wait, what

turns out that among the things a spider can do is "have his pants stolen from the dryer at the laundromat"

Hi everyone, today I decided the title of my autobiography will be "What A Long, Strange Thwip It's Been". Okay bye

did someone secretly record my entire homecoming

wait

if someone is a jerk on @twitter i reply with "wow looks like u got bitten by a radioactive JERK", so yeah feel free to use that if you want

i'm having a lot of fun here on the world . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . wide . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . WEB

..............................................because wealth and fame i've ignored

If you're wondering who I've got blocked, it's @wealth and @fame

thank you, I feel the same way

haha @bud is a protected egg account with 8 tweets!! of course he is he NEVER listens

Am I tough?! Listen @bud, I've got radioactive blood

DID YOU KNOW: i have saved the world multiple times but i'm told i need to have a social media presence otherwise people won't know who i am