Peyton: βme and her are the same personβ
Me: βYouβre cleanerβ
You: βAnd youβre crazyβ
P: β I watched her kick the shit out of a man last nightβ
A: ββ¦why are we hurting men this time?β
Me: β I think it was warrantedβ
P: βHe was told to get the fuck out far too many times and then tried to scream in her face, so I let her get her kicks in and picked her upβ
T: βYou just picked her up mid rage and she didnβt fight you?β
Me: βI would never fight him. Also Iβd have no chance.β
P: βYeah she just asked me to adjust the hold on her ribs and was fineβ
Me: βShouldβve let me kick him moreβ
P: βI wasnβt trying to save him, I was saving meβ
@ work earlier
βHey so I figured out why changing that keg wasnβt workingβ
βOh, wait, really, why?β
βBecause I put it on the wrong line. The broken one, to be exact. Because Iβm a fucking idiot. I fixed it now though.β
Yeah Iβm p sure management thought I was having a stroke
getting 2 live with my best friend is so much fun dude :)))
man just dealt w me screaming about whitebeard dying irl too not knowing a single fucking thing I was saying but somehow understanding it meant hulk hogan was dead
Looked at my ex bf thatβs starting to manage at my job and went, βim not gonna call you dadβ and this man was so baffled trying to say βI hope not you have a boyfriendβ before I went, β1, Stepbrothers, uncultured ass. And 2, I called Sean dad. Iβm not gonna call you dad.β
not 3 of my coworkers being drunk and making a bet on whose phone call id answer or who id call back first
(It was Hope, sheβs my work wife. My bf was betting on Stephen.)
Whenever my brother comes into the bar I like to very loudly announce, βwe banned you months ago, you HAVE to stop coming here dudeβ
Iβm so absolutely heartbroken my GM is transferring stores and now im gonna have a bunch of his furniture in my apartment to remind me of him π (I told him he has no choice but to request me to work with him when he needs an extra hand bc theyβre so short staffed)
He did say he was taking some of us with him and im pretty sure I got whiplash from the way my head snapped over to him and he laughed and said he already had me in mind
βI didnβt know it was possible but you are somehow even sassier with me at workβ
βHonestly I think that building just makes my sass meter go off the charts because I end up apologizing a lot for getting sassier than I needed to be thereβ
βMakes senseβ
Cook giving my bf a jalapeΓ±o burger at work while I stood in the background
βIf I donβt give her a bite sheβs gonna hit meβ
βNo mf, if you donβt give her a bite sheβs gonna KILL youβ
my work mother and I are so dramatic when we pass by each other working opposite shifts
βOh my god! Hi! Bye! I love you so much!β
βNo you canβt leave, I miss you already!β
βJust hold on until [next shift]β
βI donβt know how Iβm gonna do it without you π₯Ίβ












