boots.boi

✨ Dream about me ✨

Eating a poke bowl for the first time in months

Unfortunately made prolonged eye contact with the sullen intern while grabbing a KitKat bare from the candy jar next to his desk :(

October Flirty-thirst!

Of all the bitches at my equinox on a soulcycle bike watching a bootleg of the 2022 Into The Woods revival, I’m by far the hottest

Whoever invented the concept of having payday on a Friday deserves sloppy toppy on a daily basis forevermore amen

The most important relationship a gay guy can have is with his female tabata instructor

Another day of pissmogging the older guys at the office urinals

Accidentally brought my iced coffee into the single-stall bathroom at work. Wondering if people will think I brought it inside to…refill it…😳

My number one op (roommate) brought poisonous contraband (half dozen donuts) and forced them down my throat (put them on the counter)

Ascending to a higher spiritual plane by listening to Caroline Polachek’s Ocean of Tears (Umru Remix) on the treadmill after 16 ounces of cold brew at 4:45 PM EST

At a glance I thought this was the drag race runway curtain

Playlist so good I had to slap my own damn ass on the treadmill

Need to workout until my body defies logic, warps reality, and brings peace to all nations 😌

Wearing my court-mandated uniform to the office 🙄 (six inch louboutins, micro mini tweed suit skirt, bike brand jockstrap, etc)

My c0mpany is experiencing an internal AI outage. Everything is going according to plan >:)