ALT JOEY CHERDARCHUK ACCEPTANCE SPEECH TO BE DELIVERED AS IS “Before I start, I want to make it clear that I did not write this speech. Every one of these words was written by Joey, and he asked me to read them verbatim. Joey chose me to accept on his behalf for a couple reasons: First, because an acceptance speech will always sound more engaging when delivered with a French accent. And second, because no one likes to revel in the adulation of the masses more than this (point to yourself) stunningly intelligent French Canadian devil.”

ALT “Joey wishes to thank his phenomenally understanding family along with Rob and Eugene for all their feedback, and also Francis Gagnon for agreeing to grace this stage with his strikingly handsome and effortless good looks, and to imbue this speech with his unparalleled charm and care for the audience. As a newly independent freelancer, Joey is looking for work, so take pity on him as I, in my abundant wisdom, have in the recent unrelated collaboration that afforded me the opportunity to not only work with him, but also deliver this speech. Thank you”