cherry

I think it’s time I clear up a misconception. A lot of people have been giving me a lot of hate over the last few days, and while I feel like some of it is warranted, there’s one thing that I need to talk about. Ever since Tarzaned on his stream accused me of “sending Laura to Germany to get the abortion while I stayed home and streamed” alot of people have shit on me because of it. And while, if it was true, I’d understand your outrage; the fact of the matter is that it is an outright lie. Keep in mind that this is something I’ve never wanted to talk about, but in order to ‘clear my name’ in other words, it is something I am now forced to do. I won’t go into too detail since it’s more Laura’s place than it is mine to talk about this, however I will, with her permission, give you a better idea of the timeline. We found out she was pregnant while we were in Korea (around mid-late November) At the time, I was planning on hosting a tournament called the Dantes Invitational and was already working out the logistics of it. When we found out, we said that we would go to Germany together once Korea was over so she could have the procedure done, and so that I could meet her family, and then we would fly back to Canada. I then started to book flights, lock in dates for the tournament, bring together all the people, and really set things in stone. Upon arrival in Germany, they said it was too early to get the procedure done, and that we would have to wait several weeks. By that point, our plane tickets to Canada that I had booked were uncancellable, and as a result we flew back without having it done. My tournament was to start soon after the arrival in Canada, and we had gone through long discussions about what was to happen next; She told me that she understood that the tournament was a huge deal for me, and that she would have such a large support network back home that it would be manageable for her. I was conflicted. On one hand, I had made promises and organized an event that would encompass the entire NA streaming scene and serve as a highlight of entertainment for hundreds of thousands on people On the other hand, I felt like I did have an obligation as her boyfriend to be by her side. Hearing her tell me that she would be okay with being in Berlin without me since she would still have her friends and family was the deciding factor for me. And while it is something that I later looked back on, and that we both wished would have been handled differently because we didn’t expect the magnitude of what was to come, that is for only two people on this planet to judge. Me and her; No one else. Even while she was in Germany, it wasn’t like I was absent. Yes, I would do my streams and fulfill my obligations, however whenever the night would cast its shadow over the day we would spend them together, even though we were thousands of miles apart. In call talking, playing games, watching videos together for hours. One of my regrets is that we never managed to finish the Little Big Planet game that we almost completed because she didn’t bring her controller with her to Canada and she didn’t want us to play the game while using a mouse… Even when I was casting the tournament, I made a promise to myself that if I couldn’t serve as a distraction to her privately, I would do it publicly. Yes, I wanted the event to succeed. But, there was something I wanted much more than that. To make her smile. The jokes I would tell, the crazy stories I would recount, the performance that I put on. It was for her. Every time I would see her type something in my chat, it would fuel me with this unimaginable fire in my gut that made me want to surpass all my limits and entertain more than I ever had before. If you all want to judge me, then by all means, be my guest; I only ask that you judge me for the man I actually am, and not by the words of a man with such little integrity that he would not only bring up this situation, but lie and twist the narrative to make things look infinitely worse than the reality would suggest. And while I was by no means the most impacted from the situation out of the both of us, it’s not to say it didn’t change me. To all of you that used to watch me and wondered why, for months after Korea, it seemed that my mental was always on a wire’s edge and that I wasn’t the same man I was several months prior; You now have your answer.