#WorldSeries a whole lotta folks gonna need @tacobell breakfasts tomorrow to get unpuckered
Hey former #Athletics is a 10 -1 lead in the bottom of the 9th with 2 outs a Jim Johnson Proof lead
chiggin1 retweeted
Lombardo has a lot of negative things to say about California until one of its billionaires wants Nevada’s public money. Just ask John Fisher or a Hollywood executive! They got two special sessions from Governor Lombardo! #SchoolsOverStadiums
chiggin1 retweeted
Security called me at 6:12 AM today.
"Patch every PHP server immediately."
I asked what happened.
"Two critical vulnerabilities. Remote code execution. No authentication required."
Cool.
How many PHP servers do we have?
According to inventory: 12
According to reality:
Nobody knows.
We found one running WordPress.
Three running old internal tools.
One under someone's desk.
Two inside vendor appliances.
A forgotten employee directory from 2016.
And a server named:
PHP-OLD-DO-NOT-TOUCH
Naturally, that one runs payroll exports.
Then we found a PHP 5.6 box.
I asked who owned it.
The documentation said:
BRIAN.
Brian left in 2019.
We called Brian.
He said:
"Oh wow, that's still running?"
Excellent.
By 8 AM, leadership joined the incident call.
CEO:
"Can hackers actually get in?"
Security:
"Potentially yes."
CEO:
"Without a password?"
Security:
"Yes."
CEO:
"Then why do WE need passwords?"
Not the lesson.
Finance asked if we could wait until the weekend to patch because downtime affects revenue.
Security explained that the alternative was letting strangers execute code on our servers.
Finance asked for a cost comparison.
At 9:17, someone suggested temporarily taking the vulnerable websites offline.
Marketing refused.
"Our campaign is live."
So for the next hour, the company officially decided maintaining a landing page for 20% off webinar registration was more important than preventing remote server takeover.
We finally patched everything we could find.
Then our scanner discovered another PHP server.
Hostname:
TEMP-PHP-2014
Uptime:
4,512 days.
Nobody knows what it does.
Nobody owns it.
Nobody can shut it down.
But every time we block network access, the warehouse stops printing shipping labels.
Security has classified it as critical infrastructure.
It is running PHP 5.4.
The vulnerability has existed longer than half our employees.
The emergency patch took four hours.
Finding out what PHP actually runs took eleven.
The internet isn't held together with code.
It's held together with servers everyone is afraid to turn off.
This is sure to bring down the price of groceries and petroleum products.. Additionally it will substantially improve out national security situation
I am pleased to announce that the Department of the Interior, under the auspices of Secretary Doug Burgum, and in conjunction with famed Golf Course Architect, Tom Fazio, has developed a plan to build a World Class Championship Golf Course on the site of the current East Potomac Golf Links, located in Washington, D.C. When completed, it will be open to the Public while, at the same time, designed to the Highest Level of Golf and able to hold World Class Tournaments such as the U.S. Open, the PGA Championship, the Ryder Cup, and the Presidents Cup. This Course will create many Jobs, and have a tremendously positive Economic Development impact on Washington, D.C., and the surrounding area. Millions of Dollars will inure to the Capital area. The current Course is old, broken, dilapidated, and of no further use or effect. It is in very poor condition, with falling, dangerous, and disease infested trees and, importantly, a collapsing and hazardous seawall. When the East Potomac Course was originally built, it was famous for no trees, with views of Washington, D.C., for all to see, but now, it is completely overgrown, dysfunctional, and unsafe. Restoration work will begin on the Fazio Design on November 15th, when the old Course will be closed to play. The new Course will be opened in approximately 15 months. The United States Golf Association, PGA of America, and the PGA Tour have already been notified that they will soon have one of the Best and Most Spectacular Golf Courses anywhere in the World to put on their list of great places to play, and hold Major Events. Thank you for your attention to this matter! President DONALD J. TRUMP
( TS: Oct 18 2026, 10:09 AM ET )
