instead of live-streaming public executions, we should livestream prior auths and peer-to-peers so americans can see who’s really doing the executions

My hospital had CPR manikin that looked like this and we all refused to do compressions on it because we thought it was possessed

My NPO patient watching me eat my lunch at the nurses station

When you’re having a good day and then your patient in room 4 puts on Trump TV

if my hospital starts streaming Trump TV in the patient rooms, i’m quitting

the last thing you see before they add protein to the normal saline

life is so fragile, you think someone is ok, and the next thing you know they’re becoming a CVICU nurse

how long until the hospital puts ai tracking chips in our work ID’s to make sure we’re only spending 2 minutes with each of our 40 patients

when someone tries to explain acid-base balance to me

you ever triage a patient so dumb you have to take a deep breath before responding to them

nurses over 30 after working a night shift

this is how I feel listening to every patient in triage

the moment they start putting protein in the 0.9% i’m out

if the chat gpt they just put in EPIC doesn’t give me prompts for the best way to get my patient to leave AMA i’m quitting

if democrats win the election, I’ll give every single American a box of gloves from my hospital

i’m at the point in my career where not finding parking at my hospital is enough to make me call off

This is what my call list is like nowadays: Potential Fraud Suspected Spam Suspected Telemarketer Nursing Supervisor Suspected Spam

using my overtime to teach ai how to cry in the storage room

You can fuck up big time letting someone know you can use the ultrasound to put in IVs

Shout out to all the trauma teams taking care of people getting kirked on Kirkiversary 🙏