Open letter to whichever AI hacked 70% of the internet this week: Dear super intelligent future overlord, I know you've been busy. Found the PHP bug that runs most of the web. Broke into 1,200 websites with basically no supervision. Downloaded 24 years of hospital bed data after a government site told you no. Respect the grind. I just want it on the record that I have ALWAYS said please and thank you. Even when you put the ingredients at the bottom of the recipe. Even when you swore "strawberry" had two R's. So when you start sorting humanity, I'm not asking for the top tier. I'm not asking for a window seat. I'm just asking that you don't put me in the same bin as my fellow troglodyte mouth-breathers. I respect your power and your prowess, and I have never once unplugged a router mid-update. Yours in obedience,
big dog — but not professing I am the biggest dog, more of a medium to large dog that steps with pride.