Dan Wickes

I just found out a comedian I know finds it annoying how often I mention winning the 2021 Coney Island Comedy Festival. I on the other hand think it’s funny. And I know funny. It’s why I won the 2021 Coney Island Comedy Festival

Heidi Klum took ten hours to put on her Halloween costume. I did too. Mine was a condom so I had to get hard first

For Halloween I will be wearing a pair of jeans that is not the pair of jeans I wear every other day of the year

I’m reading a self-help book from back to front so I can get worse

It’s not cyclospora it’s the Donald Dump

Getting three first round pick swaps with the Charlotte Hornets is great if you’re any team besides the Charlotte Hornets

I’m so jealous of the NYPD sniper. What a view he must have!

My mayor Muslim My bagel Jewish My pedophile shuts his eyes Knicks in five

The most unclutch shooter in Knicks history is Thomas Crooks

Nobody reads anymore. You can be surrounded by literally thousands of books and still prefer to shoot JFK

Hey Cracker Barrel fans get on this I want my Biscoff cookie

What about those who pace maniacally and are constantly in other people’s way?

AI trains on original content. Content created using AI creates a feedback loop making AI train on worse and worse quality materials. We should be distrustful of non-AI creators, they are fueling AI

Whenever I see a hot celebrity like Meghan Thee Stallion get cheated on I think why couldn’t she just date a guy like me who could also cheat on her

I miss when Meghan Trainor was fat!!!

Imagine a fake shooter and a real shooter showing up to the same event

When I scream fuck it’s not because of my Tourrettes. It’s because I am mad that I have Tourrettes