The hot young slut to mommy blogger pipeline

Is the sound on @nbcsnl like really bad??? It seems like the vocals are always turned way too far up and that none of the musicians can here themselves???

Lmfao

I wish I could censor 45’s face so I don’t have to see that ugly mug every two seconds

In bed

Margaret, no body wants to eat off of your rug.

So I’m kind of convinced that identifying as bisexual is the new “all adventurous girls do” ... am I wrong? #girlsHBO

Do normal people use twitter still? Or are we just here for updates? Lmk

I'm literally starving all the time cause BF. I eat so much trail mix and dark chocolate my gums hurt.

yesterday I had to explain to a guy at work that I was, in fact, not "studying" and that I was reading a book for the pure enjoyment of it.

when someone calls a 3D ultrasound picture "cute" or "pretty" THEY LYIN'.

"i don't want to go to bed cause i don't like my pillows" - me #basic #fwp

hey everyone I'm gonna start tweeting about how I'm pregnant cause there's a little baby inside me and I want you to hear about it

there's just something about an alcoholic in dark rimmed glasses

"it's my pet peeve when someone tries to steal something... RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH" - @CaitlinSommer

"accept every moment as if you had chosen it." - eckhart tolle. definitely didn't think i chose to start menstruating today but I roll w/ it

sleep is always welcome cause honestly my dreams are a much more exciting alternate reality