Guy who for sure isn’t ten thousand times too toasted to finish making lasagna making a small snack:

50° at 5:30pm, might have to turn the heat on in the morning

I can’t tell if everyone who messages me on Instagram or the apps is deeply uninteresting or if I’m just completely unable to be interested in anyone more than 36” away from me

Better set 20min timer in case I fall asleep

I like when Rich Evans makes an actually good metaphor and Mike is caught on camera with a look of admiration

Bi-monthly leave work because back hurts and make big lasagna time. Going medium expensive on this one, in two weeks I will be testing the lower limits short of all-in-one sauce

Criticize the new Apple TV online just twice and my <2y/o device is mysteriously bricked #noticing

Pretty good

Store only had extra skinny bread so I had to resort to the ol’ twenty-incher

Accidentally bought 3lbs of shitty cheese I’m left with no other option

Ever since I was a young man in ranier beach I knew I was destined to live somewhere dominated by Safeway violence (entire United States)

I personally killed the radio star everyone was just too relieved to do anything about it

I only make lasagna twice a month but thanks to advanced deep 11x14 technology that means I get to eat nothing but lasagna for at least eight days

Someone should move into the master bed/bathroom and pay half my rent, I haven’t entered this bathroom in six months and only enter the bedroom to look for cables. Only conditions are that I will be in the living room watching Voyager at 2:45AM sharp every day

Boneless skinless chicken box? I get involved with that

It’s finally psychological torture season at the suffering factory

Apple TV 4K doesn’t even allow you to not watch roseland ballroom these days

You guys wouldn’t even know where to turn for some of this shit

Every foldable buyer I know never made it a full year with one phone even before they bought a foldable, as long as this thing is remotely functional at 16 months I’m not sure this is putting off many potential customers

I’ve only ordered one thing online since I moved in May and I had it sent to my parents’ house, I’m afraid if I break the seal it’ll be over