@dhongcomedy

Only child but not the favorite

 Los Angeles, CA
dhongcomedy.com
Joined June 2013
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  • Following11
  • Followers148
5Media
#southwestairlines flight check in is getting as competitive as Taylor Swift tickets
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Today was going to be a productive day until my cat got a little too relaxed while making biscuits that a 💩 fell out. It was like the universe said "this is the only sh!t you'll get done today"
My gf and I switch off being the "masc" one in the relationship. When on the street, I'll walk on the outside. When we go hiking, she'll walk on the edge side since I have a fear of heights. You can say I'm a gentleman in the streets, but a lady when above 6 ft.
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Being lesbian cat moms means clarifying what we mean by "Sorry we were late. We had to play with our cats"
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I always thought bathroom attendants were fancy. Then I saw one check the stall immediately after the person walked out when they were still within the vicinity before letting me go in. Turns out they're just snitches to make sure you're not nasty.
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Drunkalogue Presents: Comedy Upstairs @theclubhouseimprovla every first Wednesday of the month! This month: @andyrideragain @dhongcomedy @danabraziel & @simeygibson $10 suggested/free . eventbrite.com/e/drunkalogue… #losangelesevents #thingstodoinla #jokes #cool #comedyshow #comedian – at Los Angeles, CA

Drunkalogue Presents: Comedy Upstairs at The Clubhouse

The Producers behind Drunkalogue and In-Unit Laundry bring you a selection of their favorite comedians every first Wednesday of the month.

eventbrite.com
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What do Jesus and Costco's rotisserie chicken have in common? They're both saviory
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I realize I shouldn't smoke weed and photoshop because it takes me 3 hours to do anything. Two hours of that is sporadically stopping to look at my work like "wow, technology is crazy"
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After falling down the stairs I realize the reason they're called stairs is because you're supposed to stare at each one so you don't fall.
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Do people that wake up before the sun start their day telling the sun "you're not grinding hard enough"?
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Comedian, writer, and cool T-shirt owner Diana Hong takes us down the nostalgia tunnel with a wholesome nineties CLASSIC. This episode’s got laughs, tales from the 90's, mental health, and of course, goofs. Grab a Capri Sun and pull up a bean bag! 🍿🎧 #agoofymovie #moviepodcast
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White shirts are like condoms. They're only good to wear one time.
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Working from home makes it hard to tell when I'm actually depressed. If I haven't showered for a week - is it because I'm sad or lazy? Realistically, probably both.
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Over the pandemic I learned how to cut my girlfriend's hair. The haircuts are truly one of a kind because they never come out the same way.
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Cats have it made - when they sleep for 14 hours a day, it's cute. When I do it, it's called depression.
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Maybe if women were classified as fish, the govt would protect our rights. insider.com/bees-officially-…

California court rules that bees are a type of fish in order to protect them under the state's...

In a move that thrilled bee enthusiasts, California judges decided that endangered invertebrates were legally protected — under the category of "fish"

businessinsider.com
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I noticed that all of my friends in SF have bidets It’s like they’re making up for not having a yard by being really nice to their butts
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Cyber Monday just turned into “Realizing we have a shopping problem” Friday
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Went to urgent care for gallbladder pain and was told to make some diet changes: Doc: you shouldn't have caffeine for awhile Me: ... Doc: are you going to be okay to work tomorrow? Do you need a note? Me: if I can't have caffeine can you excuse me from people indefinitely
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