Please check out my website safehandsthinkingminds.co.uk & my books, cards, online modules, resources, training, consultation, and thinking spaces on developmental & relational trauma and loss; direct working creative and expressive tools; adversity, healing, culturally, dignity, & trauma-informed, infused, & responsive systems and organisations; therapeutic re-parenting, & much more. Look forward to connecting🦋

Last week we focused on the power of language. Next month we will be having 2 days to think about emotional anchoring and regulation. So today we spend the day talking about our own anchoring and wellbeing- from activist burnout to moral injury to values dissonance and much more.

onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/… On Trial at Home: A Systematic Review of Foster Carers' Experiences of Allegations

Days like today, I absolutely love and feel so privileged and grateful to do this job. In a world where so many people, systems and organisations are saturated, depleted, exhausted, feeling stuck or hopeless, where processes can overtake people, and where there isn’t always a common golden thread or North Star, it is just so fizzy, buzzy, hope-filled and inspiring to spend the day with an organisation that is so warm, friendly, relational, thoughtful, dynamic, energetic, creative and, most importantly, so heart-led

The Presence of Others and the Possibility of Discovery During the Commission of Child Sexual Abuse Within Private Homes tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1…

Had so many interesting, rich, and thought-provoking thinking spaces, dilemma labs, and pause and ponder conversations over this week and last week, both individually and with teams. So many different themes, questions, reflections, tensions, and dilemmas. Obviously, without going into the granular details, some of the things we’ve been exploring include… What ignites and sparks passion, joy, community, and connection? What it’s like to be around people who you can really fizz and buzz with, bounce ideas around with, and who just get it. And equally, what it feels like where the energy feels flatter or more draining. How what’s going on in the outside world, whether that’s the conversations around Krista and the death penalty, what’s happening at Cornell university and beyond, or the shooting in Bend, can seep into our inner worlds, shake things up, stir things up, and impact us in all sorts of ways. Cultural humility, power, racial trauma, and how these can show up and play out, particularly within healthcare settings. The tensions and shifts between people who work from quite purist models, frameworks, or approaches, and those who work in more integrative, creative, or eclectic ways. Some of the jarring, discomfort, feelings, and questions that can arise in those spaces. The importance of nuance, of holding complexity, and not flattening, oversimplifying, or reducing things that are multi layered. How sometimes processes, procedures, and systems can overtake the people they’re supposed to be there for. The organisational clock versus the human clock. And so, so, so much more! I really do love these spaces and feel grateful for them. Generally no slides or tick boxes. Just space to have some of those real-world, messy, raw, sometimes uncomfortable, sometimes energising conversations. To bring the elephant in the room into the conversation (quite literally sometimes, as I often have my elephant puppet with me!). And something I particularly love is how reciprocal these spaces can be. I so often come away with my own head buzzing, new ideas sparking, questions to sit with, things to reflect on, and passions reignited

I love my little plant buddies :) this is my main one as sunflowers are my fave flower. Rarely does a day go by when I don’t use it. So much of my work therapeutically, in thinking spaces, in supervision and in training is about planting seeds, thinking about things we can cultivate and grow, nurturing what is already there, and creating the conditions for things to flourish.

Lovely to be with action for children today. We have a series of 4 days over the next few months but today is our first one and focusing on one of my fave topics the power and impact of language and the words we use.

utppublishing.com/doi/10.313… Screening prevalence of fetal alcohol spectrum disorder (FASD) in a UK-based justice system setting: A pilot study

Today is World Trauma Day. A day to acknowledge the pain, hurt, suffering and hardship that so many people experience, carry and navigate. Some of which is visible and named, and so much of which remains unseen, misunderstood , minimised or clouded in a conspiracy of silence. Some which has been believed, validated and acknowledged and some which might have been dismissed, blamed, shamed and much more. I hope this day is also about holding a wide lens when we think about “trauma” (mindful this term or word lands differently for different people and means different things). Not just individual experiences, but relational, developmental, cultural, collective, political, historical, intergenerational, medical, organisational systemic trauma and beyond. And how it often isn’t the event but the experience and the meaning making and sense making. And within this that it isn’t just what happens to people, but also what doesn’t happen, the absence, the omission, the galaxy of missed opportunities or unmet needs. Andy alongside the hurt and the pain, it’s also important to make space for the both/and- hope, healing, wisdom, joy and possibility. Importantly, i hope we think proactively and creatively about not just responding to trauma, but about preventing harm. About creating relationships, experiences, organisations and systems that are helpful and centre dignity rather than harmful.

I have many therapy loves! Puppets, miniatures, cards, and masks are my absolute faves. On my recent trip to Ireland, Rachel Falk & I went to a toy shop & added these 3 to my already large collection! So many possibilities of how I will be using them in therapy, supervision, assessments and training.

Day 4 with our fab therapeutic social work cohort. We are focusing on relational, developmental & betrayal trauma & loss. The foundational knowledge before our next 4 direct work days:) The importance of the understanding and different layers. Looking beyond checklists!

Wow 6 years ago! Still so moving

Oh, I’ve just realised today is World Values Day! How relevant, given how much of my time I spend talking about values and principles, whether that’s in our everyday practice, our relationships, or at an organisational culture and systems level. I often talk about the importance of staying connected to our North Star, and the golden thread of our values that can connect us, even when we’re working in different roles, contexts and spaces. But also how easily our values can get diluted, muddied, polluted or contaminated along the way, especially when we’re under pressure, stretched, or caught up in complex systems. And how important it is to keep coming back to them, checking in with them, nurturing and protecting them. Not just talking about them, writing them in policies or putting them on walls, but really modelling, embodying and living them. Because it’s often in the smallest interactions, the messy moments and the difficult decisions that our values really come to life.

Back with Joanne Alper & our fab therapeutic social work cohort. Last time we were together in Milton Keynes & focused on our own anchoring & emotional immune systems over 2 days & now we have 2 days virtually on a spotlight on relational, developmental & betrayal trauma & loss. The foundational knowledge before our next 4 direct work days:)

Moral injury in humanitarian aid workers: exploring the perspectives and experiences of mental health professionals link.springer.com/article/10…

Back in Kent today for the space matters conference for my last f2f till Jan. All the rest will be virtual now. Look forward to talking on some of the ingredients of infusing trauma informed values & principles into our practice & organisational fabric. Look forward to listening to the other speakers & being part of the day. Thanks Sue Gower for arranging & the invite!

In a time when there is so much heaviness and thorniness in the collective nervous system of the world. Play, fun, laughter, joy, lightness feels even more needed and appreciated. These new onesies had me in such giggles and my nephews absolutely loved them. Hours of fun!