Notorious dark-humoured Brummie. Historian of ancient religion. Pianist and funeral organist. Gg-child of a Peaky Blinder šŸ‡¬šŸ‡§šŸ„ƒ

The Shire
Joined February 2009
This used to be a romantic t-shirt. Now it sounds like a threat.
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I’m away from X for a couple of days and come back to you all talking about flying cars. Has the sequel to Chitty Chitty Bang Bang been released?
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Die-hard member of the ā€˜I’m glad the tiger is ok’ crew clocking in for duty
To the "I'm glad the tiger is ok" crew, someone of sound mind doesn't walk into to a tiger enclosure... I hope no one you love has a MH crisis! 🤨
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Forget The Traitors and Strictly, *this* is the future of entertainment šŸæ
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*bows down* šŸ‘‘
Woman ā€˜posed as substitute teacher to insult students because she hates kids’ trib.al/uRePYdr
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What in the universal credit, fridge in the front garden, peppa pig plate used as an ashtray, crisis loan, french bulldog breeding, this town is full of snakes, middle section of Aldi, nappies at toddlers ankles, dads on licence, strongbow dark fruits, self diagnosed mental illness, kids eating crisps for dinner, Tesco value ham, front garden trampoline, lip filler paid with child benefit, spag BOWL, just me and me kids now, 35p energy drink, shouting in the street in your dressing gown, I swear down on me mums life, live laugh love, twos on that? silver crushed velvet living room, one pouch of bacci til next Thursday is going on here??
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Dr Helen Ingram retweeted
Today it is impossible to scroll through here so I shall leave you with an atmospheric photo I took some time ago in Birmingham. I was moored on the canal just behind that building to the left in Gas Street Basin. Very early one morning I got up and walked along the street as the rising sun started to break through the fog. It was so beautiful.
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Dr Helen Ingram retweeted
hot girl summer is over, it's time for plaguemaxxing autumn
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When you’re feeling poorly and your mum lets you stay home from school and watch cartoons
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I haven’t been online much because this fella flaked out on me and I’ve been nursing him with a feeding tube and meds all week. Sorry if I’m not replying. It’s been an emotional, stressful and expensive week! Special thanks to @grok for drawing me up a feeding and meds timetable
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We’re going to lose this country because two fully-grown men are fighting like teenage girls
Claremont (Blackpool) Council By-Election Result: 🌹 LAB: 41.8% (-10.5) āž”ļø RFM: 38.2% (New) ā—¼ļø RES: 7.2% (New) 🌳 CON: 5.7% (-15.9) šŸŒ GRN: 4.0% (New) šŸ”¶ LDM: 1.6% (-10.4) šŸ™‹ Ind: 1.5% (New) No Ind (-14.0) as previous Labour HOLD. Changes w/ 2023.
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I bet it was an accidental butt dial
🚨BREAKING: The suspected bomb attack targeting RAF Fairford was reportedly foiled after one of the suspects called 999 himself [@thetimes]
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Any vets on here know what to do with a cat that is hungry but can’t physically eat for an unknown reason?
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Dr Helen Ingram retweeted
POV you're the last avacado in Waitrose.
POV you're the last Emma Bridgewater "love is all you need" jug in the shop
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What Birmingham needs is some leaflets
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I love how the van is called ā€˜Fuel 2You’. They should have gone with ā€˜Bombers R Us’.
🚨 NEW: A bomb disposal robot is currently operating near three white vans near RAF Fairford
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Why do the ā€˜anti-hate’ people always look so full of hate?
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People keep mistaking my ā€œwowā€s for compliments
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