bethliz

me? a bottom?😤 yeah.. a BIKINI bottom: when she wants to hang out I'm 🧽SPONGEBOB when she wants to play I'm 🌟PATRICK when she wants money I'm 🍔MR KRAB when she wants to learn I'm 🐿️SANDY when she wants to hear music I'm 🦑SQUIDWARD when she wants to step on me I'm 🤏PLANKTON

oh my fucking god i just saw my hairline im gonna vomit

played commander at work today #wageslave

You just landed on an uncolonized island, ready to be settled. But there’s a catch: you have to settle within one region. What are you picking?

would you rather: pay me 0.07$ OR have me pay you 1$ the first minute, then 2$ the second minute, increasing by 1$/minute until infinity?

yay my cardboard's here

This has got to be Apple's worst feature. Remembering short 4-6 digit codes from one app to another used to be my thing. It was what I was good at. They've taken that from me. My greatest evolutionary advantage, gone. Just like that. It's disheartening to say the least.

desperate to be in love but sadly too pre-occupied with being in hate

Enjoy yourself! Take anything you want from it!

the french language isnt really my forty

her (already impressed) : you played in waiting for godot with your high schools theatre club? cool! which role did you play? me (trying to impress her anyway) : the big guy godot himself