Eben

Has anyone in the history of mankind ever put a fitted sheet on correctly the first time

Some type of reality show about scammers starring George Santos and Anna Delvey - they’re either the judges or the main characters idk yet still workshopping it

Look I enjoy Top Boy as much as the next mandem but I feel like there’s a good handful of “The Wire did it first” moments on this new season

I want whatever gene Keith Richards has. I don’t care about the drugs or alcohol I just want to be able to smoke cigs into my 80s

What if miniature golf was just regular golf. And regular golf was called, say, XXL golf. Because who needs all that really

Men At Work didn’t have to go nearly that hard when they said “I come from a land down under / something something something, chunder”

They prob anxiety farting like crazy in that submarine right now must smell wild

The Idol is camp folks - like Showgirls caliber camp appreciate it as such

They’re using something in the coronation called The Stone of Destiny which I believe will give King Charles 30% faster magicka regen

Can you show me on this doll where Soulja Boy cranked dat?

And y’all thought Lauryn Hill was the problem

Cold soup like gazpacho should be illegal. That’s a vegetable and meat smoothie in a bowl bro

What kind of cult do you think the new Ari Aster movie will be about

Lyft driver from airport said “can I take this other route, it’s 5 or 10 more minutes but it’s faster” I said ok

What if thunder actually happened when it wasn’t raining Stevie Nicks would be so mad

Me: do not warp any of the recordings or samples in this session, long or short. It will tax my CPU. I have turned off every preference involving automatic warping Ableton: Ok so I’m just gonna go ahead and turn warp on for literally everything

This is such a hair splitting musician thing but in sci fi movies and tv shows when there is music that’s supposed to be “alien” music made by another culture from another planet or solar system why is it always in western equal tempered tuning??

I feel like that Miley Cyrus Flowers song was probably written by AI

Every perversion that you can imagine exists. Like I bet there’s at least one person who likes to get tuna salad on a cinnamon raisin bagel

Shout out to ppl who cry on their Instagram stories you terrify me